I am in my husband's office right now. We were running errands, and then he had to come into work for a couple of hours, and then we are going to run some more errands. So I am just hanging out right now paying bills online and blogging. I know it is bad to blog from your own office, but is blogging from your spouse's office ok? I think it is.
Let me describe my husband's office to you. It is crazy. First, the monitor is about three feet away from me, and the keyboard I am typing on is balanced on a stack of papers that is about 8 inches high. The background on H's monitor is a picture of me "wearing" an astronaut suit in Chicago. To my left, is a 18 inch tall plastic Incredible Hulk doll. Behind me is a mini-fridge that contains overripe Clementines and light apple juice. His two diplomas are hung behind me to the left. The undergrad diploma is hung so that the bottom of the frame is above my head. Then his law school degree is under it, but WAY under it. Like there are 12 inches between the frames. To my right, H has used thumbtacks to hang a poster of a painting that he really liked in the Philadelphia Museum of Art. This poster is also hung so that it is probably 5 feet 4 inches off the ground. Directly in front of me is a little bookshelf with pictures on top. The pictures are of our nieces and nephews, and there are two pictures of me and H. Oh, also a tiny wallet sized picture of me at my hooding ceremony (law school hooding, not some kind of weird racist thing). There used to be another 18 inch tall Incredible Hulk on the bookshelf, but it fell off as I was typing this. (I dusted earlier and must have made it unbalanced.) About three feet above the bookshelf (and six feet from the floor) is a framed certificate of H's. Oh my gosh, my hands are killing me from trying to type on this massive pile of papers. Ok. There are also copies of the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, and the Declaration of Independence on the wall.
So there you go, the pictures a diplomas are nice, I just wish they were hung lower. Oh well. His office is a lot more personalized than mine. Mine is so bland that I am pretty sure no one could guess whose office it is unless they sat in my chair and looked at the few personal pictures I have.
Showing posts with label H. Show all posts
Showing posts with label H. Show all posts
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Through The Years
Last night I found a small photo album that I had forgotten about, and H and I looked through it together. It has pictures of H and my first vacation together, almost exactly five years ago, when we went to San Francisco. H looks so different to me.
Nothing says gangsta quite like a clean cut guy on a sailboat wearing an Abercrombie hoodie.
[Picture Removed]
H, where's the Golden Gate Bridge?
[Picture Removed]
Why, look! It's a really bad cut-off picture of Double G!
[Picture Removed]
Evidence that, indeed, H is quite a bit taller than me.
[Picture Removed]
Yes, these are five-year-old vacation pictures. But they are interesting to me, so there. I shall contrast them with some pictures of our trip to San Francisco in 2006. Ok, I just looked through our 2006 photos and we don't have any good ones of us from the San Francisco trip. So instead, for comparison you will have to look at whatever recent pictures I can find.
Here is H serving as best man in his brother's wedding a few months ago.
[Picture Removed]
Five years later, and H still thinks wannabe gang signs are a good idea.
[Picture Removed]
Sadly, this is the best picture of me from our trip to Maine. Hello, H? You are allowed to take pictures with the camera too. Not every single picture we have needs to be of you!
[Picture Removed]
Nothing says gangsta quite like a clean cut guy on a sailboat wearing an Abercrombie hoodie.
[Picture Removed]
H, where's the Golden Gate Bridge?
[Picture Removed]
Why, look! It's a really bad cut-off picture of Double G!
[Picture Removed]
Evidence that, indeed, H is quite a bit taller than me.
[Picture Removed]
Yes, these are five-year-old vacation pictures. But they are interesting to me, so there. I shall contrast them with some pictures of our trip to San Francisco in 2006. Ok, I just looked through our 2006 photos and we don't have any good ones of us from the San Francisco trip. So instead, for comparison you will have to look at whatever recent pictures I can find.
Here is H serving as best man in his brother's wedding a few months ago.
[Picture Removed]
Five years later, and H still thinks wannabe gang signs are a good idea.
[Picture Removed]
Sadly, this is the best picture of me from our trip to Maine. Hello, H? You are allowed to take pictures with the camera too. Not every single picture we have needs to be of you!
[Picture Removed]
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Sunday
Today I went to an urgent care clinic and waited in the waiting room for several hours. Yay. I thought there might not be a lot of people there since there was a Vikings game. Alas, for some reason, mothers with sick kids go to the doctor whether or not there is an NFL game. Not a big deal since I don't have any life-threatening illnesses, just a possible case of strep throat. A nurse finally swabbed me, and then I spent ten seconds with the doctor who said that I don't have strep throat, but iI do have a gross-looking throat and a high-ish temperature, so it might be something else. It's probably viral, so I am just supposed to suck it up. I love that diagnosis: it might be something else. Thank you so much for your help. So hopefully I will get better in a few days, and if not, I will just go to a doctor who doesn't suck.
What else. I think our Guitar Hero 3 party was fun. H invited two of his friends who are leaving H's office to start their own business. H made t-shirts using in the friends' honor. H photo-shopped (and by photo-shop I mean MS Paint) his friends' heads onto the heads of two gangsta types on a rap album. Then he changed the title of the album to "Big Tymerz." Below the album cover, H added "4 My Dogz - R.I.P." and the date of his friends' last day in the office. Maybe you have to see it to realize the hilarity of this. Oh well. It was both crafty and clever. Watch out, Martha Stewart.
I don't understand the people who won't try Guitar Hero 3 because they are worried about embarrassing themselves. Who cares if you are bad at Guitar Hero 3? I promise that I would not judge anyone based on their ability to play a video game. In fact, it is probably good that you are bad at Guitar Hero 3 because it might mean that you have more productive uses of your time than playing "Paint It Black" 30 times a row in your living room. Not that I have done that. In fact, I haven't had much of a chance to play the new GH yet because I was busy running around the house, talking, and drinking Summer Shandy.
What else. I think our Guitar Hero 3 party was fun. H invited two of his friends who are leaving H's office to start their own business. H made t-shirts using in the friends' honor. H photo-shopped (and by photo-shop I mean MS Paint) his friends' heads onto the heads of two gangsta types on a rap album. Then he changed the title of the album to "Big Tymerz." Below the album cover, H added "4 My Dogz - R.I.P." and the date of his friends' last day in the office. Maybe you have to see it to realize the hilarity of this. Oh well. It was both crafty and clever. Watch out, Martha Stewart.
I don't understand the people who won't try Guitar Hero 3 because they are worried about embarrassing themselves. Who cares if you are bad at Guitar Hero 3? I promise that I would not judge anyone based on their ability to play a video game. In fact, it is probably good that you are bad at Guitar Hero 3 because it might mean that you have more productive uses of your time than playing "Paint It Black" 30 times a row in your living room. Not that I have done that. In fact, I haven't had much of a chance to play the new GH yet because I was busy running around the house, talking, and drinking Summer Shandy.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
come get your wisdom
alyndabear said...
Okay.. let me see. My question for H, a generic relationship question which may or may not be related to me.
H, at the end of the year I am moving overseas to (finally) live together with my partner of five years, who has always wanted to propose while somewhere "different". My question is this, after I'm all settled in there and should no proposals be in sight, how long should I wait before mentioning it to him? Is very awkward, but after five years I am going slowly insane.
Felt so good to get it out there. ;)
Dear Alyndabear,
If you mention it, it is the same as asking him yourself. That is not your job. Patient people are easier to marry.
stefanie said...
Hmm. Questions for H. Should I cut my hair? I am bored with it, but I like that boring = low maintenance. Also, do you know anything about concrete? I have been ignoring rather large cracks in my garage floor for two years now. Should I be worried about those? (I thought I would ask you a stereotypically girly question and a stereotypically manly one. I didn't want to put H in a box and assume he was the go-to guy for only one or the other.)
Dear Stefanie,
Okay.. let me see. My question for H, a generic relationship question which may or may not be related to me.
H, at the end of the year I am moving overseas to (finally) live together with my partner of five years, who has always wanted to propose while somewhere "different". My question is this, after I'm all settled in there and should no proposals be in sight, how long should I wait before mentioning it to him? Is very awkward, but after five years I am going slowly insane.
Felt so good to get it out there. ;)
Dear Alyndabear,
If you mention it, it is the same as asking him yourself. That is not your job. Patient people are easier to marry.
stefanie said...
Hmm. Questions for H. Should I cut my hair? I am bored with it, but I like that boring = low maintenance. Also, do you know anything about concrete? I have been ignoring rather large cracks in my garage floor for two years now. Should I be worried about those? (I thought I would ask you a stereotypically girly question and a stereotypically manly one. I didn't want to put H in a box and assume he was the go-to guy for only one or the other.)
Dear Stefanie,
-R- looks good with long hair. So you would look good with long hair. If you can see dirt in the cracks in your garage, it is time to patch. Use a patching cement that does not shrink or expand.
L Sass said...
Dear H, On a scale of 1-10, how awesome are products of a certain South Dakota-adjacent regoin of Minnesota?
Also, if you could be any Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, which would you be and why? (I guess that's not really advice per se, but I feel that it would be educational.)
Dear L Sass,
What the hell are you talking about? On a scale of 1 to 10, that first question was a 1. I would be Michalengelo because he talked like he was stoned all the time.
abbersnail said...
Question for H:
If you and -R- both loved the same color of M&Ms particularly well, and if you purchased a giant bag of them, would you eat all of the color that you liked, save them for her, or split them?
I think that might be the dumbest question ever. Awesome.
Dear abbersnail,
What do you think?
sognatrice said...
Yesterday before my dog gave birth I had *a lot* of questions, but they've fallen by the wayside as the bitch pretty much did everything herself. Thank goodness!
So all I have right now is "Do you want a puppy?"
Cuz we gots puppies.
Dear sognatrice,
I have been begging for a puppy for two years. -R- won't allow it, because we are never home long enough to take proper care of it. Plus, one bitch in the house is plenty.
Barb said...
Question for H: Does loving Shaun of the Dead mean I'm old and lame?
How about the "up at o'dark-thirty and in bed by 8" thing?
Dear Barb,
No, cause I like Shaun of the Dead and I am awesome and so are you. As long as it is not on a weekend then that does not make you lame.
Matt said...
Question:
I went to the dentist the other day and was dutily informed that they need new xrays of my teeth. The lady then proceeded to drap a lead blanket over my chest, stuff my mouth with cotton, aim the xray thing at my saw and then quickly split the room. I asked her why she left the room and she said for safety.
My question is if it is so safe why must I wear a lead blanket and the dentist leave the room? And if it is not safe will this lead blanket really protect me as the ray gun was aimed point blank at my head.
Dear Matt,
Did you live under power lines as a kid? It is safe to get an xray every once in awhile. It is not safe to repeatedly be in the room while administering many xrays over several hours five days a week, fifty-two weeks a year. So she leaves the room during every xray. Xrays can not penetrate lead, your brain is safe and tell the xray tech to not turn the machine up to 11, it seems you only have a couple of brain cells to spare.
nancypearlwannabe said...
Dear H,
What is the appropriate course of action if your co-worker has been calling you the wrong name for three years and you've never corrected her because she's old and you don't want to embarrass her? But it has now gotten so out of control that other co-workers are teasing you about it?
Thanks ever so much!
Best regards,
Sandy "NPW" Librarian
Dear nancypearlwannabe,
You need some one to solve this problem for you? Step one, walk up to the lady. Step two, tell lady your real name. Step three, be nice about it. Step four, rinse. Step five, repeat for necessary volume.
lizgwiz said...
H,
My car makes a kind of rattling, clackity noise only when I accelerate. I don't want to spend any more money on this aging car, so when I hear the noise, I usually just sing louder. Am I being really stupid? (I have roadside assistance, which probably gives me some sort of false comfort.)
Also, when a guy tells you over and over how beautiful your eyes are, is it because your eyes really are extraordinary, or because he can't think of anything else to compliment you on? ;)
Dear lizgwiz,
Does it happen when you have the ac/heat fans on? If it does you have a loose fan that is rubbing against something. It is not a big propblem, you can probably ignore it. With more information I could fix it. It means he wants you to put the lotion in the basket, or you have a problem with taking compliments.
Lara said...
Dear H,
What should I dress my dog as for Halloween? Also, did you and R decide not to move to Philadelphia? Boo to you, if so.
Thanks,
Lara ;)
Dear Lara,
What did the dog ever do to you? He is your pet, and not your punchline.
Noelle said...
Dear H,
Why do bad things happen to good people? And how can I make sure that bad things happen to the bad people who deserve it?
Dear Noelle,
Because good people can deal with bad things happening to them. Everyone gets what is coming to them, and wishing bad things on people may make you a bad person, so don't do it.
JayAre said...
Dear H,
If you found spiders in your kitchen cabinets, would you call an exterminator?
Also, which do you think is better, chicken fajitas or beef fajitas?
-JR
Dear JayAre,
No, unless it is a black widow or a brown recluse. If so move out and start a new life in a place without spiders. Roast Beef fajitas.
One Smart Cookie said...
Now, questions for H. Does your name really start with an H? If you could choose any name to be yours, what would you choose? What is your stripper name? And why did you say that you are like Ann Landers, when clearly Dear Abby is superior? What do you have against Dear Abby?
Dear One Smart Cookie,
No, mine, Diego South, because I am an anti-semite.
-R- said...
My question for H is: what should I tell my mom and my sister to get you for Christmas? Do not say an Xbox because that is never going to happen.
Dear -R-,
How bout a half used bottle of suntan lotion and t-shirts from outlet malls, again like last year.
Lawyerish said...
For H:
If you decided to become a rapper, what would you call yourself?
Also, if you could become world famous for one thing, what would it be?
Dear Lawyerish,
D.J. Scratchin' Fish. Most tacos eaten in five minutes.
Sarah said...
Dear H,
You look so hott in all of the pics that R posts of you. I mean, I don't know how you have any clothes left because I am sure da ladies tear them off the second you step outside. Be honest, how many boobs have you signed? In short, how does one harness such raw sex appeal?
Dear Sarah,
I have actually written my phone number on a chicks butt. However she did not call me. I should have written it backwards so she could check it in the mirror. Ask -R- about the harnessing.... if you know what I mean.
janet said...
H,
What does my husband want for Christmas?
Dear janet,
What every man wants. To be like me.
jen said...
I am so impressed by your mastery of Microsoft Paint and H's mastery of the sandwich that I am stumped for questions for H.
Except maybe (because I am sadly highly literal): what is your favorite sandwich and why?
Dear jen,
Ice cream sammich, because it is made from ice cream.
KM said...
Since H has not posted yet, can I still get in on 'Ask H'? If so, my question is: Has R changed at all since becoming a, what was it called? Blogebrity?
Dear KM,
She has a little more bounce in her step, and soon she will be in rehab with Britney and Lindsey.
That is all. Remember, there is no such thing as a stupid question. Only stupid people that ask questions.
H
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Check It Before You Wreck It
Time for a comparison.
First look at the baby pictures here.
Then look at my sister's baby picture again.
Does that first picture not look like my sister as a baby on crack? It is freaky! Well, to H and me it is freaky. And also hilarious.
In unrelated picture news, I have created a logo for H's guest posts.
It is H, as drunk David Hasselhoff, as Ann Landers. How could you resist asking this guy for advice?
First look at the baby pictures here.
Then look at my sister's baby picture again.
Does that first picture not look like my sister as a baby on crack? It is freaky! Well, to H and me it is freaky. And also hilarious.
In unrelated picture news, I have created a logo for H's guest posts.
It is H, as drunk David Hasselhoff, as Ann Landers. How could you resist asking this guy for advice?
Monday, October 22, 2007
Corn Syrup
So are you guys excited about H answering all your questions? I hope so. I am a little afraid of what his answers will be, but I told him that I would not censor him like I did/tried to do last time, so be afraid. And please feel free to leave more questions.
Sarah [scroll down] wants to see pictures of me as a little kid, but I think they are all at my mom's house. Here is one picture. I am the older, blonder sister in this photo. I don't think I look like that anymore, but I do think my sister still looks like kind of the same. Except with less baby fat and more hair. When I was a baby, I had just a little bit of (bright red) hair. My mom used to stick bows to my head so that people could tell I was a girl. I asked her one time how she got the bows to stick. The answer was CORN SYRUP.
Sarah [scroll down] wants to see pictures of me as a little kid, but I think they are all at my mom's house. Here is one picture. I am the older, blonder sister in this photo. I don't think I look like that anymore, but I do think my sister still looks like kind of the same. Except with less baby fat and more hair. When I was a baby, I had just a little bit of (bright red) hair. My mom used to stick bows to my head so that people could tell I was a girl. I asked her one time how she got the bows to stick. The answer was CORN SYRUP.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Ask H
I woke up before 10 am (!) today with lots of plans, and so far I have not even left the house. It is 4:30 pm. I am awesome. I have accomplished the following things though:
1) watched "Ugly Betty" on our DVR. This show is so campy. I kind of love it.
2) watched part of Salt and Pepa's show on VH1. Eh.
3) paid the guy who winterized our sprinklers. This just means he blew all the water out of our pipes so that the pipes wouldn't freeze.
4) cleaned the floors of the master bathroom and the laundry room.
5) took a shower.
6) called a friend and left an awesome message. "H and I are going to carve pumpkins tonight and watch Shawn of the Dead in celebration of Halloween because we are old and lame. Do you want to come over? Not that I think you are old and lame. Because I don't. [awkward laughter] Ummm... call me back if you want. Gottagobye."
7) joined site for bloggers who are going to write every day in November. I can tell you are thrilled!
8) talked to H about doing a guest post. He said he wanted to write one. I asked what he is going to write about, and he said, "I am like Ann Landers! I just answer questions and give advice! Start building up notice about it!" He was really annoyed that I didn't know he was like Ann Landers. So now I know.
If you need advice or have a question for H, please leave a comment. I may have to ask an (anonymous) question or two myself. H will respond to all questions next week, probably on Wednesday night.
1) watched "Ugly Betty" on our DVR. This show is so campy. I kind of love it.
2) watched part of Salt and Pepa's show on VH1. Eh.
3) paid the guy who winterized our sprinklers. This just means he blew all the water out of our pipes so that the pipes wouldn't freeze.
4) cleaned the floors of the master bathroom and the laundry room.
5) took a shower.
6) called a friend and left an awesome message. "H and I are going to carve pumpkins tonight and watch Shawn of the Dead in celebration of Halloween because we are old and lame. Do you want to come over? Not that I think you are old and lame. Because I don't. [awkward laughter] Ummm... call me back if you want. Gottagobye."
7) joined site for bloggers who are going to write every day in November. I can tell you are thrilled!
8) talked to H about doing a guest post. He said he wanted to write one. I asked what he is going to write about, and he said, "I am like Ann Landers! I just answer questions and give advice! Start building up notice about it!" He was really annoyed that I didn't know he was like Ann Landers. So now I know.
If you need advice or have a question for H, please leave a comment. I may have to ask an (anonymous) question or two myself. H will respond to all questions next week, probably on Wednesday night.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Everything and Nothing
Because I am a dork, I had to make a little chart of where all you readers live.
Top Ten(-ish) Locations
1. New York - 10
2. Minnesota - 6
3. California - 5
3. Texas - 5
3. Canada - 5
6. Washington (state) - 4
6. Washington, DC - 4
8. Massachusetts - 3
9. Australia - 3
9. Maryland - 2
9. Michigan - 2
9. Nebraska - 2
9. Oklahoma - 2
9. Pennsylvania - 2
9. Virginia - 2
9. Wisconsin - 2
Honorable Mentions(aka places with one reader)
Arizona
Colorado
Connecticut
Georgia
New Jersey
South Carolina
Tennessee
Japan
Italy
Scotland
Isn't that so cool??? I feel like I should introduce you people who live "near" other readers now and then I can be a weird blog-friend matchmaker. Not really.
And now it is time to award the honor of H's Favorite Delurker. This honor goes to Funessa, who wrote (in part):
"So, I live just north of Seattle now, but I'm originally from Chicago. So I LOVE that 'H' calls Wisconsinites Sconnies (I know a lot of 'em, since I went to school with a bunch of 'em in Chicago). Never heard the term, though. But it has become my go-to phrase to describe obnoxious drunks (regardless of where they're from)."
I am afraid that H's Favorite Delurker will also be Stefanie's Least Favorite Delurker, but since this is not her blog, I am guessing Funessa will be ok with that.
Before I let H make too much fun of Sconnies, I would like to note that H got drunk on Saturday by drinking two margaritas. Yes, my husband is a total lightweight. Now, in his defense, the first margarita was pretty big and H was pretty dehydrated. But should two margaritas cause you to recline your seat all the way in the car on the way home, take off your shoes, change the radio station with your feet over and over, and giggle like a little girl? I vote no. (In case you are worried, I was the one driving, not H.)
I promised you some pictures of the holiday house in my neighborhood, so here you go.
Obviously, as there is still visible grass in their yard, they are not done decorating.
Top Ten(-ish) Locations
1. New York - 10
2. Minnesota - 6
3. California - 5
3. Texas - 5
3. Canada - 5
6. Washington (state) - 4
6. Washington, DC - 4
8. Massachusetts - 3
9. Australia - 3
9. Maryland - 2
9. Michigan - 2
9. Nebraska - 2
9. Oklahoma - 2
9. Pennsylvania - 2
9. Virginia - 2
9. Wisconsin - 2
Honorable Mentions(aka places with one reader)
Arizona
Colorado
Connecticut
Georgia
New Jersey
South Carolina
Tennessee
Japan
Italy
Scotland
Isn't that so cool??? I feel like I should introduce you people who live "near" other readers now and then I can be a weird blog-friend matchmaker. Not really.
And now it is time to award the honor of H's Favorite Delurker. This honor goes to Funessa, who wrote (in part):
"So, I live just north of Seattle now, but I'm originally from Chicago. So I LOVE that 'H' calls Wisconsinites Sconnies (I know a lot of 'em, since I went to school with a bunch of 'em in Chicago). Never heard the term, though. But it has become my go-to phrase to describe obnoxious drunks (regardless of where they're from)."
I am afraid that H's Favorite Delurker will also be Stefanie's Least Favorite Delurker, but since this is not her blog, I am guessing Funessa will be ok with that.
Before I let H make too much fun of Sconnies, I would like to note that H got drunk on Saturday by drinking two margaritas. Yes, my husband is a total lightweight. Now, in his defense, the first margarita was pretty big and H was pretty dehydrated. But should two margaritas cause you to recline your seat all the way in the car on the way home, take off your shoes, change the radio station with your feet over and over, and giggle like a little girl? I vote no. (In case you are worried, I was the one driving, not H.)
I promised you some pictures of the holiday house in my neighborhood, so here you go.
Obviously, as there is still visible grass in their yard, they are not done decorating.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
An Early Christmas Tale
I hate to do this because I am afraid it will create a monster, and yet I do it anyway.
H is not what I would call patient when it comes to receiving presents. His birthday is just four days after Christmas, so on December 1, he starts to go present crazy. He will go through every closet and look in every crevice in the hopes of finding his presents. When he finds a wrapped present (this has never happened with me, but he used to do this at his parents' house), he will use a knife to slit the tape, unwrap the present, and then rewrap it. And then he will brag that he knows what he is getting for the holidays, so I don't know why he bothers to rewrap his presents. I guess because his parents would have taken them away from him if they knew he had found them.
Our first Christmas living together, I kept everything at work until the day we were opening presents. Our second Christmas, we had access to each other's bank account statements, so of course H figured out where his present was from, even though I didn't bring it home from work again until the day before Christmas. Last year, I took out cash from the ATM and gave it to my friend and had him buy H's birthday present for me and keep the present at his apartment. This year, my friend and I have the same game plan, except that the friend is now in charge of both Christmas and H's birthday, and H knows the birthday present was stored at my friend's apartment last year, so now my friend will keep the presents at his office since we go to my friend's apartment from time to time.
The reason I am telling you all this is that I already wrote my friend a check this year because I thought that since it was September, H wouldn't notice. But of course, H did and assumed that I had loaned our friend money without talking it over with H first. So I had to tell H that the money was not a loan, and I couldn't come up a cover story for the money fast enough, and H figured it out. Aargh.
It is cute and sweet that H gets so excited about getting presents, but it is so much work! I must admit though that it is kind of fun for me to figure out how to keep the presents a secret from H every year.
H is not what I would call patient when it comes to receiving presents. His birthday is just four days after Christmas, so on December 1, he starts to go present crazy. He will go through every closet and look in every crevice in the hopes of finding his presents. When he finds a wrapped present (this has never happened with me, but he used to do this at his parents' house), he will use a knife to slit the tape, unwrap the present, and then rewrap it. And then he will brag that he knows what he is getting for the holidays, so I don't know why he bothers to rewrap his presents. I guess because his parents would have taken them away from him if they knew he had found them.
Our first Christmas living together, I kept everything at work until the day we were opening presents. Our second Christmas, we had access to each other's bank account statements, so of course H figured out where his present was from, even though I didn't bring it home from work again until the day before Christmas. Last year, I took out cash from the ATM and gave it to my friend and had him buy H's birthday present for me and keep the present at his apartment. This year, my friend and I have the same game plan, except that the friend is now in charge of both Christmas and H's birthday, and H knows the birthday present was stored at my friend's apartment last year, so now my friend will keep the presents at his office since we go to my friend's apartment from time to time.
The reason I am telling you all this is that I already wrote my friend a check this year because I thought that since it was September, H wouldn't notice. But of course, H did and assumed that I had loaned our friend money without talking it over with H first. So I had to tell H that the money was not a loan, and I couldn't come up a cover story for the money fast enough, and H figured it out. Aargh.
It is cute and sweet that H gets so excited about getting presents, but it is so much work! I must admit though that it is kind of fun for me to figure out how to keep the presents a secret from H every year.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
We Are Old
We started off the weekend with a bit of Mystery Science Theater 3000.
Then this morning we watched part of the show Clean House on the Style network and were inspired to go through our clothes and get rid of a lot of things we don't wear anymore.
My 5 bags of things.
H and the t-shirt he refuses to give up. Also, I should note that, as usual, H asked me to take this picture but then posed as though he didn't want to be in the picture.
Then this morning we watched part of the show Clean House on the Style network and were inspired to go through our clothes and get rid of a lot of things we don't wear anymore.
My 5 bags of things.
H and the t-shirt he refuses to give up. Also, I should note that, as usual, H asked me to take this picture but then posed as though he didn't want to be in the picture.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Lists
What I Did This Weekend:
fall asleep at 8:30 pm on Friday
not wake up until 9:30 am on Saturday
read a book outside on my back porch
make s'mores around a campfire
read another book while H watched some UFC fights
go to church
buy $207 worth of work clothes for only $107 - woo!
eat dinner at a new (to me) Mexican restaurant with friends
watch my husband swoon over Clive Owen
TV Shows I Will Watch This Season:
House
The Office
30 Rock
Friday Night Lights
Project Runway, if it ever comes back on
Books I Read Last Week:
Certain Women by Madeline L'Engle
Meet the Austins by Madeline L'Engle (yes, this is a "juvenile book"- what is your point?)
Drunk, Divorced, and Covered in Cat Hair by Laurie Perry
Questions:
Should I try to find time to watch Ugly Betty? I have seen a few episodes, and it looks good.
What should Stefanie and I do when we meet up later this week?
Who does H love more: me or Clive Owen?
Do you have any questions for me?
fall asleep at 8:30 pm on Friday
not wake up until 9:30 am on Saturday
read a book outside on my back porch
make s'mores around a campfire
read another book while H watched some UFC fights
go to church
buy $207 worth of work clothes for only $107 - woo!
eat dinner at a new (to me) Mexican restaurant with friends
watch my husband swoon over Clive Owen
TV Shows I Will Watch This Season:
House
The Office
30 Rock
Friday Night Lights
Project Runway, if it ever comes back on
Books I Read Last Week:
Certain Women by Madeline L'Engle
Meet the Austins by Madeline L'Engle (yes, this is a "juvenile book"- what is your point?)
Drunk, Divorced, and Covered in Cat Hair by Laurie Perry
Questions:
Should I try to find time to watch Ugly Betty? I have seen a few episodes, and it looks good.
What should Stefanie and I do when we meet up later this week?
Who does H love more: me or Clive Owen?
Do you have any questions for me?
Monday, August 06, 2007
Next Year: Nunchucks and Fireworks
My nephew's eighth birthday was a few weeks ago. H was going to visit his brother (the nephew's dad) the weekend before the nephew's birthday, so H said he would stop on the way and pick up a birthday present. This seemed like a good idea.
The next week, I got a call from my brother-in-law. H had bought our nephew a video game, which I already knew about. What H had failed to mention was that the video game in question was Resident Evil 4. My brother-in-law hadn't really paid any attention to the video game until my nephew started playing it and my brother-in-law noticed that the point of the game was to kill people. With chainsaws.
"H!" I said. "I can't believe you thought Resident Evil 4 was an ok game to give an eight-year-old!"
H laughed. "I just remembered it being a cool game. I didn't think about the killing. And the chainsaws. And the cursing."
As you may have guessed, the nephew LOVED the game and thought H was super cool for giving it to him. My brother-in-law and his wife looked like the mean ones for not letting him play with the game.
Note to self: The status of best aunt and uncle has been retained. Also, do not let H buy presents by himself ever again.
P.S. We exchanged Resident Evil 4 for a Lego Star Wars video game. It seemed to go over well with parents and nephew alike.
The next week, I got a call from my brother-in-law. H had bought our nephew a video game, which I already knew about. What H had failed to mention was that the video game in question was Resident Evil 4. My brother-in-law hadn't really paid any attention to the video game until my nephew started playing it and my brother-in-law noticed that the point of the game was to kill people. With chainsaws.
"H!" I said. "I can't believe you thought Resident Evil 4 was an ok game to give an eight-year-old!"
H laughed. "I just remembered it being a cool game. I didn't think about the killing. And the chainsaws. And the cursing."
As you may have guessed, the nephew LOVED the game and thought H was super cool for giving it to him. My brother-in-law and his wife looked like the mean ones for not letting him play with the game.
Note to self: The status of best aunt and uncle has been retained. Also, do not let H buy presents by himself ever again.
P.S. We exchanged Resident Evil 4 for a Lego Star Wars video game. It seemed to go over well with parents and nephew alike.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
I am pretty sure that I can never top H's response column. He seems pretty excited to be an internet celebrity. He topped himself though by giving a speech at his brother's wedding that had everyone laughing, and his grandmother even said she would like a copy of it. I was very proud. Additionally, H was not even drunk, and he initiated The Bow Hunter. I kid you not.
The wedding was really great, not just because of H's participation as best man, but because I have never seen H's brother so happy. He seemed nervous before the ceremony, but after he and his new wife exchanged rings, he grinned from ear to ear for the rest of the entire day. It was really cool to see him so happy.
The wedding was really great, not just because of H's participation as best man, but because I have never seen H's brother so happy. He seemed nervous before the ceremony, but after he and his new wife exchanged rings, he grinned from ear to ear for the rest of the entire day. It was really cool to see him so happy.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
The Moment of Truth
Hello welcome to the first installment of "Ask H." The post where I answer questions, make fun of drunken Sconnies (redundant to call them drunken), and talk about how awesome -R- and Nat are.
Marmite Breath said...
Dear H,
What made you fall in love with -R- and what has been the secret of your marriage so far?
Also, how awesome did you think I was in person? Be honest. PS) The only correct answer is, "VERY AWESOME, NAT!"
Dear Marmite Breath,
I fell in love with -R- the moment she started dancing around her apartment on our second date singing songs by the spice girls. Our secret (we have been married less than two years) is she is in love with me and I cannot blame her. You are awesome in fact you are very awesome. And tiny.
janet said...
Dear H,
Should I really let my husband buy a giant flat screen TV? Are you SURE it has made your life better? :)
Dear Janet,
Let me answer your question with another question. Should you let your husband be miserable? If you answer "yes" then do not get him a tv. If "no" then get him a tv. If by better you mean WAY BETTER then yes it has made my life better.
3carnations said...
I'm not asking a question, because I don't believe he will post. Like he has any spare time now that he has his -R- sized TV...
Dear 3carnations,
You are wrong.
P.S. SUCK IT.
lizgwiz said...
Dear H,
If your house caught on fire, which would you carry out first, your lovely wife or your ginormous TV? And yeah, I know -R- has legs of her own, and the TV doesn't, but let's pretend she is immobilized with fear or smoke inhalation or something. ;)
Dear Lizgwiz,
I don't know if you noticed this but, I am 6'5'', 240 lbs and can bench press a car. Therefore I would save both at the same time and call the fire department using telepathy.
stefanie said...
I would like to know what H has against Wisconsinites.
Also, since H feels that R "wastes [her] Christmases" by asking for non-worthy or worthwhile gifts, I would like to know what H's favorite gift ever was?
Dear Stefanie,
I have nothing against Sconnies (wisconsinites). Oh, by the way if two people from Sconnie get divorced, are they still brother and sister? The best gift I ever received was a half used bottle of suntan lotion from -r-'s mother. Feel the love, and don't get burned.
L Sass said...
Darn, my question was "Is it more important to get a non-ugly couch or a big TV?"
Clearly, H's opinion on flat screen TVs is of vital importance to the masses!
Dear L Sass,
It is more important to get a big tv, because there is no such thing as a non-ugly couch. Couches come in two kinds. Comfy ( the kind I like) and non-comfy ( the kind -r- likes).
Noelle said...
Dear -H-,
If your wife was taller, would you have bought a larger television?
- also -
If that television could only show 1 television show, 1 movie, and 1 sporting team for the rest of its life, which of each of those three would you chose?
Dear Noelle,
If my wife was taller, she would then be tall enough to knee me in the groin. Therefore no tv. If I had to pick: The Simpsons, Fight Club, and the Vikings ( replays of '98 season).
Lawyerish said...
Marmite Breath stole my question (the one about falling in love with -R-). Dang!
Ok, here's some more:
What's your favorite thing about where you live (geographically, not the house itself)?
What is the best thing you bring to your marriage?
Have you ever been to New York City, and if so, what did you think of it?
If you were on death row, what would be your last meal?
Dear Lawyerish,
I like Minnesota because it has seasons and plenty of drunk sconnies creep over to make me feel like less of a drunk. The ability to lift heavy objects and reach tall shelves. No, I have never been to New York. The Olive Garden's never ending pasta bowl.
Galoot said...
What are the specs on that TV? Your wife won't answer important questions like that! Screen dimensions? LCD or plasma? Are you going to get HD programming through cable or satellite or get an antenna and pick up a free signal? This is life or death!
Dear Galoot,
55 inches, HD LCD 1080i rear projection sony with the vega engine. Two HDMI ports, two widescreen inputs and four component inputs. We get local channels in HD through cable. I bought an up converter/recorder DVD. The Wii and the PS2 look beautiful on it. Next come the receiver and speakers for the surround.
sognatrice said...
I'm going to throw out a softball:
How much wood *could* a woodchuck chuck (if a woodchuck could chuck wood)?
And also, how many consecutive times can you say that without screwing up? I'm relying on -R- for verification here.
Dear Sognatrice,
I really don't know. I do know how many bullets a woodchuck can take if the woodchuck is rabid. One (a true tale from the farm!!!!!)
don't call me MA'AM said...
1. What is your favorite flavor of gum?
2. Without getting too specific, what was your favorite legal issue you've had to resolve?
3. If you could name a crayon after yourself, what color and name would it be?
4. If you complete a task at home, but -R- doesn't see you do it, did it really happen?
5. If you and -R- could go anywhere in the world and do whatever you wanted, what would YOU want to do?
6. What was your favorite book when you were growing up?
Dear don't call me MA'AM,
I like Big Red or Bazooka Joe. Can a cop pull someone over for having busted headlights on a sunny day? I said no and the judge agreed and it saved my client four years of prison. My crayon would be blue and it would be called "Your wife just blue me". My favorite book was "Where the Red Fern Grows" the movie sucked.
Jenny said...
1. Which one is your favorite toe?
2. What did -R- tell you that you could NOT tell us about?
Dear Jenny,
-r-'s little pinky toe. It is the cutest toe in the history of feet. I cannot tell you such information even if I had such information for me to tell to you about the information that is secret information even if such information exist, which it may not but if it did i could tell you if it did.... or not.....because it doesn't. Does that clear things up?
This post by H PURPOSEFULLY CONtains bad grammur and spellings because i like it that way and it drivves -r_ crazy. -R- has absolved herself of all punctuation related mishaps that might occurrr
I also dispense sage advice for those interested.
PEACE OUT Y'ALL
H
Marmite Breath said...
Dear H,
What made you fall in love with -R- and what has been the secret of your marriage so far?
Also, how awesome did you think I was in person? Be honest. PS) The only correct answer is, "VERY AWESOME, NAT!"
Dear Marmite Breath,
I fell in love with -R- the moment she started dancing around her apartment on our second date singing songs by the spice girls. Our secret (we have been married less than two years) is she is in love with me and I cannot blame her. You are awesome in fact you are very awesome. And tiny.
janet said...
Dear H,
Should I really let my husband buy a giant flat screen TV? Are you SURE it has made your life better? :)
Dear Janet,
Let me answer your question with another question. Should you let your husband be miserable? If you answer "yes" then do not get him a tv. If "no" then get him a tv. If by better you mean WAY BETTER then yes it has made my life better.
3carnations said...
I'm not asking a question, because I don't believe he will post. Like he has any spare time now that he has his -R- sized TV...
Dear 3carnations,
You are wrong.
P.S. SUCK IT.
lizgwiz said...
Dear H,
If your house caught on fire, which would you carry out first, your lovely wife or your ginormous TV? And yeah, I know -R- has legs of her own, and the TV doesn't, but let's pretend she is immobilized with fear or smoke inhalation or something. ;)
Dear Lizgwiz,
I don't know if you noticed this but, I am 6'5'', 240 lbs and can bench press a car. Therefore I would save both at the same time and call the fire department using telepathy.
stefanie said...
I would like to know what H has against Wisconsinites.
Also, since H feels that R "wastes [her] Christmases" by asking for non-worthy or worthwhile gifts, I would like to know what H's favorite gift ever was?
Dear Stefanie,
I have nothing against Sconnies (wisconsinites). Oh, by the way if two people from Sconnie get divorced, are they still brother and sister? The best gift I ever received was a half used bottle of suntan lotion from -r-'s mother. Feel the love, and don't get burned.
L Sass said...
Darn, my question was "Is it more important to get a non-ugly couch or a big TV?"
Clearly, H's opinion on flat screen TVs is of vital importance to the masses!
Dear L Sass,
It is more important to get a big tv, because there is no such thing as a non-ugly couch. Couches come in two kinds. Comfy ( the kind I like) and non-comfy ( the kind -r- likes).
Noelle said...
Dear -H-,
If your wife was taller, would you have bought a larger television?
- also -
If that television could only show 1 television show, 1 movie, and 1 sporting team for the rest of its life, which of each of those three would you chose?
Dear Noelle,
If my wife was taller, she would then be tall enough to knee me in the groin. Therefore no tv. If I had to pick: The Simpsons, Fight Club, and the Vikings ( replays of '98 season).
Lawyerish said...
Marmite Breath stole my question (the one about falling in love with -R-). Dang!
Ok, here's some more:
What's your favorite thing about where you live (geographically, not the house itself)?
What is the best thing you bring to your marriage?
Have you ever been to New York City, and if so, what did you think of it?
If you were on death row, what would be your last meal?
Dear Lawyerish,
I like Minnesota because it has seasons and plenty of drunk sconnies creep over to make me feel like less of a drunk. The ability to lift heavy objects and reach tall shelves. No, I have never been to New York. The Olive Garden's never ending pasta bowl.
Galoot said...
What are the specs on that TV? Your wife won't answer important questions like that! Screen dimensions? LCD or plasma? Are you going to get HD programming through cable or satellite or get an antenna and pick up a free signal? This is life or death!
Dear Galoot,
55 inches, HD LCD 1080i rear projection sony with the vega engine. Two HDMI ports, two widescreen inputs and four component inputs. We get local channels in HD through cable. I bought an up converter/recorder DVD. The Wii and the PS2 look beautiful on it. Next come the receiver and speakers for the surround.
sognatrice said...
I'm going to throw out a softball:
How much wood *could* a woodchuck chuck (if a woodchuck could chuck wood)?
And also, how many consecutive times can you say that without screwing up? I'm relying on -R- for verification here.
Dear Sognatrice,
I really don't know. I do know how many bullets a woodchuck can take if the woodchuck is rabid. One (a true tale from the farm!!!!!)
don't call me MA'AM said...
1. What is your favorite flavor of gum?
2. Without getting too specific, what was your favorite legal issue you've had to resolve?
3. If you could name a crayon after yourself, what color and name would it be?
4. If you complete a task at home, but -R- doesn't see you do it, did it really happen?
5. If you and -R- could go anywhere in the world and do whatever you wanted, what would YOU want to do?
6. What was your favorite book when you were growing up?
Dear don't call me MA'AM,
I like Big Red or Bazooka Joe. Can a cop pull someone over for having busted headlights on a sunny day? I said no and the judge agreed and it saved my client four years of prison. My crayon would be blue and it would be called "Your wife just blue me". My favorite book was "Where the Red Fern Grows" the movie sucked.
Jenny said...
1. Which one is your favorite toe?
2. What did -R- tell you that you could NOT tell us about?
Dear Jenny,
-r-'s little pinky toe. It is the cutest toe in the history of feet. I cannot tell you such information even if I had such information for me to tell to you about the information that is secret information even if such information exist, which it may not but if it did i could tell you if it did.... or not.....because it doesn't. Does that clear things up?
This post by H PURPOSEFULLY CONtains bad grammur and spellings because i like it that way and it drivves -r_ crazy. -R- has absolved herself of all punctuation related mishaps that might occurrr
I also dispense sage advice for those interested.
PEACE OUT Y'ALL
H
Sunday, July 22, 2007
H Is Back
Remember a long time ago when H promised me he was going to guest post? But then he never did? H has promised me that if you ask him questions in the comments of this post, he will answer some of them on Wednesday night. Can you feel the excitement in the air?!! So ask away!
Thursday, July 19, 2007
My Husband Has a New True Love
H and I have a joint account into which we put most of our money. We also each have our own small personal account that we can use however we want. H is not very good at saving money. He spends money pretty much as soon as he gets it. So when he asked if he could get a giant television, I said that if he bought it with his personal account, it was fine with me. I really am ok with him spending his personal money on a tv, but I didn't think he would actually be able to save enough money.
Today he proved me wrong.
The television is almost the same size as me. I am scared.
(We did buy a stand on which to put the tv, but it is not available until next Wednesday.)
Today he proved me wrong.
The television is almost the same size as me. I am scared.
(We did buy a stand on which to put the tv, but it is not available until next Wednesday.)
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
I Have No Title For These Ramblings
I bet you are on the edge of your seat. Did I stay up to finish my work on Sunday night/Monday morning, or did I go to sleep? Neither! I decided to go to bed, but then I couldn't fall asleep until sometime after 3:30 a.m., so I managed to not get any more work done AND not get any sleep. Smooth move there, -R-! But my project is now finished, and I am happy, so there was a good conclusion for everyone involved. Everyone meaning me, as I was the only person involved. But anyway. I don't think I have ever actually pulled an all-nighter. There have been times that I stayed up late (maybe 3 a.m.?), but then I just give up and go to bed. I am not what you would call hardcore.
H is very proud of himself because he called into a radio station today and got on the air. We just listened to it on the computer, and it was verycute manly. The radio people were discussing a recent case, and H called in to comment on some legal aspect of the case. He also totally lied about where he lived, for no real reason other than he is random. He also gives his name as "Diego" whenever he has to make a reservation at a restaurant. His name is not Diego. Nor is his name uncommon or hard to pronounce. H just likes to live on the edge by having a reservation-making alter ego.
H has also decided that if he were to become a boxer or UFC fighter, his name would be H "Let's Talk It Out" Lastname, and he would walk into the ring to the song "Why Can't We Be Friends." I think I would be -R- "The Bow Hunter" Lastname, and my song would be "Cat Scratch Fever." I also have a strategy. It mainly involves pretending to faint as soon as the first round starts and then just staying down.
H is very proud of himself because he called into a radio station today and got on the air. We just listened to it on the computer, and it was very
H has also decided that if he were to become a boxer or UFC fighter, his name would be H "Let's Talk It Out" Lastname, and he would walk into the ring to the song "Why Can't We Be Friends." I think I would be -R- "The Bow Hunter" Lastname, and my song would be "Cat Scratch Fever." I also have a strategy. It mainly involves pretending to faint as soon as the first round starts and then just staying down.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Why H Is The Best Husband Ever
I asked H, "Can I take pictures of you re-enacting the stabbing incident for my blog?"
H answered, "Sure."
H answered, "Sure."
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Ta da! It is my bike!
Apparently, H thinks, "Please take a picture of me and my bike," means, "Please don't let too much of my bike be in the picture because I really want to get a good look at the neighbors' houses." I am so mean to H, when really, it was very nice of him to take a picture of me for my blog. Thanks, H!
And now for a segway.
Get it? I pretended like I was going to segue into a new topic, but really I am posting the next picture in the series: Cops From Other Cities Who Ride Segways. This one is from Philadelphia. I love it. And I find myself hi-larious.
Also, I should really not tease H about his picture-taking skills when I post pictures sideways on my blog.
There is really no explanation needed for the following picture, is there?
My mom gave these little stuffed fowl to H and me for Easter, and we occasionally leave them in unusual places for the other one to find. That's totally normal for near-30-year-olds, right? Right.
Apparently, H thinks, "Please take a picture of me and my bike," means, "Please don't let too much of my bike be in the picture because I really want to get a good look at the neighbors' houses." I am so mean to H, when really, it was very nice of him to take a picture of me for my blog. Thanks, H!
And now for a segway.
Get it? I pretended like I was going to segue into a new topic, but really I am posting the next picture in the series: Cops From Other Cities Who Ride Segways. This one is from Philadelphia. I love it. And I find myself hi-larious.
Also, I should really not tease H about his picture-taking skills when I post pictures sideways on my blog.
There is really no explanation needed for the following picture, is there?
My mom gave these little stuffed fowl to H and me for Easter, and we occasionally leave them in unusual places for the other one to find. That's totally normal for near-30-year-olds, right? Right.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
From The Simpsons:
Mr. Burns: Smithers, are they boo-ing me?
Smithers: Uh...no. They're saying boo-URNS, boo-URNS
Mr. Burns: (To the crowd) Excuse me, are you saying BOO or BOO-URNS?
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Hans Moleman: (to himself) I was saying "boo-urns."
I bought this shirt for H the other day. (It is a t-shirt with a speech bubble on it, and in the speech bubble it says "Boo-urns.") I decided to wait until the shirt arrived before telling H about it. But last night I thought I would give him a hint that he was going to get a present. I told him that I would have a surprise for him in a few weeks. He freaked out. He started guessing all kinds of wild things. He was getting really worked up about it. I tried to tell him that it wasn't a big thing so that he wouldn't be disappointed when it turned out to be just a t-shirt, but he kept guessing bigger and bigger surprises. And he acted like it was horrible torture to not know what the surprise was going to be. I told H that I couldn't tell him what the surprise was or it wouldn't be a surprise. His response was, "It will be a surprise when you tell me what it is!" Which is true, I suppose. So I showed him the Boo-urns shirt because there is no way I could deal with 3 or more weeks of him freaking out about the surprise. H loved the shirt, and I think it made his bad day a little bit better.
Also, H pointed out to me yesterday, "You don't cry as much as most chicks." In case you were worried after my last post. H also told me that I am "not as dumb as most chicks." Which I pointed out was not exactly a compliment. But I love him anyway because he is funny when he is trying to be a chauvinist.
Mr. Burns: Smithers, are they boo-ing me?
Smithers: Uh...no. They're saying boo-URNS, boo-URNS
Mr. Burns: (To the crowd) Excuse me, are you saying BOO or BOO-URNS?
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Hans Moleman: (to himself) I was saying "boo-urns."
I bought this shirt for H the other day. (It is a t-shirt with a speech bubble on it, and in the speech bubble it says "Boo-urns.") I decided to wait until the shirt arrived before telling H about it. But last night I thought I would give him a hint that he was going to get a present. I told him that I would have a surprise for him in a few weeks. He freaked out. He started guessing all kinds of wild things. He was getting really worked up about it. I tried to tell him that it wasn't a big thing so that he wouldn't be disappointed when it turned out to be just a t-shirt, but he kept guessing bigger and bigger surprises. And he acted like it was horrible torture to not know what the surprise was going to be. I told H that I couldn't tell him what the surprise was or it wouldn't be a surprise. His response was, "It will be a surprise when you tell me what it is!" Which is true, I suppose. So I showed him the Boo-urns shirt because there is no way I could deal with 3 or more weeks of him freaking out about the surprise. H loved the shirt, and I think it made his bad day a little bit better.
Also, H pointed out to me yesterday, "You don't cry as much as most chicks." In case you were worried after my last post. H also told me that I am "not as dumb as most chicks." Which I pointed out was not exactly a compliment. But I love him anyway because he is funny when he is trying to be a chauvinist.
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