Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Last Post

This is my last post here. I hope. I have a new blog! The blogroll isn't quite done, and it is still kind of ugly, but you know you want to check it out. Go to the new And You Know What Else. You know you love me.


PS Update your links and your feedreader. And I'm even going to use the full feed for the new blog!

Monday, December 03, 2007

Can't Stand It, I Know You Planned It

On Friday night, H and I met Stefanie for dinner at Nye's. Nye's is a famous local restaurant and bar that H described as a fancy VFW that mobsters might go to. We sat in a cool curved booth with sparkly gold vinyl seats. We ate the best pierogi I have ever eaten in my entire life. {I haven't actually eaten much pierogi in my life, so my praise may not mean much, but oh my gosh, they were delicious.) Our salads and appetizers were accompanied by a relish tray containing pickles and pasta salad, which H and Stefanie had seen before, but I had never before seen pasta salad on a relish tray. Then we had our main dishes, which were also delicious. Finally, H ordered apple streudel or something (Stefanie, do you remember?) for dessert, and Stefanie and I each had one delicious bite. After dinner, we went into the bar where The World's Most Dangerous Polka Band performed. For really no reason at all, H announced multiple times that all lesbians like him, and then he proceeded to chat with the lesbian next to us who, it turns out, got her masters degree at the same school where H and I got our law degrees. In summary, Nye's = awesome.

On Saturday, it snowed. A lot. I stayed home all day. H rented the Futurama movie and the first disc of Season One of 30 Rock, so that kept us pretty busy.

On Sunday, after church, we watched the Vikings win. Then we went to H''s office for a little bit, and finally, we went over to a friend's house to play Rock Band. Rock Band is my new favorite game. I took turns playing the guitar and drums, and I even sang a couple of songs, including "Sabotage" by the Beastie Boys. I have discovered that rapping is not my true calling. I am lucky to have this lawyer thing to fall back on. I actually did well enough for the game, but I will leave the real rapping to others. What what. Boy-eeee.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

I Need A Sippy Cup

I am on my third shirt of the day. First, I spilled a few drops of Cranapple on my shirt. I was in the process of brewing coffee when I spilled the Cranapple so I thought about waiting to change in case I spilled coffee too. But then I thought, no, I won't spill twice in one day. I changed shirts, and then I poured about a quarter of a cup of coffee down my front. Nice. I'm in my last white t-shirt, so hopefully I can make it last the rest of the day.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Just in case my earlier post today doesn't count because I originally posted it with the wrong date, here's another. Nice knowing you, NaBloPoMo.

I Love You, Bobby Beeeeeeeeeeee

The last post of November should be a good one, right? I should go out with a bang, not a whimper! Unfortunately, I am exhausted, and I had a horrible day yesterday, and I feel meh.

Here is an e-mail I wrote to Metalia on Monday because the Vikings trounced the NY Giants:

Subject: Not to hurt your feelings, but...

Eli Manning sucks!


PS Every time the announcers said something about Bobby Wade (a Vikings player), I yelled out "I see you, Bobby Waaade!" in my Maya Rudolph as Whitney Houston voice ("Bobby Beeeeeeee!").

PPS If none of this makes sense, please ignore. Thanks.

I am not an Eli Manning fan. But I am a fan of Tiki Barber, who was on Project Runway on Wednesday night. I have been a fan of his for a few years. I would probably like Ronde (Tiki's twin brother) too, but I haven't seen him in any interviews recently. Can you imagine growing up with the name Tiki, though? He had to become an NFL player just to escape being beat up, I think.

I have a very preppy, feminine name. I wonder how I would be different if my name were Elektra or Rainbow. Would you hire an attorney named Elektra or Rainbow?

Anyway, back to the e-mail to Metalia. In a later e-mail I told her that I would have a Gossip Girl forum on my blog on Wednesday night. But then I decided that I really wanted to write about my grandmother instead. So today, here is your chance to discuss Gossip Girl if you so choose. I didn't like this week's episode because it was all about the parents. Whatever. I don't care about the parents. And the Rufus/Lily/Whatever Rufus' Wife's Name Is is so contrived. I still can't decide if I like Nate (Blair's ex-boyfriend). Do you like him? I think Dan is kind of a wimp, and I am not his biggest fan. Blair is really growing on me though. I really like her now. Thoughts?

PS SHIT. I drafted this last night and then published it this morning, and I originally published it with the draft date and time instead of the publication date and time. But I posted it on Friday, so it is my Friday post.

Thursday, November 29, 2007


Sometimes I really need to keep my mouth shut, and sometimes I need to speak up for myself. I wish I were better at distinguishing between these two kinds of situations.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Grandma NC

I only have one living grandparent. And she was put in hospice care today.

My grandma and I were never close. It isn't that I don't like her, but I can't really say that we ever had fun together. I feel bad for not being able to list all the awesome things I love about her that make her the best grandma ever. What I remember most about her is her saying bad things about my mom (her daughter-in-law) and complaining about the fact that my hair got darker as I got older. Oh, and the time she served us jello with mayonnaise on it, and I thought the mayonnaise was whipped cream, so I ate it, and then I almost barfed.

My dad's dad died in some kind of farming accident when my dad was only 10, and my grandma never really got over it. My grandma had to move to town with her three children. My dad, who was the youngest and the only boy, had to teach his older sisters and my grandma how to drive. My grandma started working in a factory that made plush items, like stuffed animals and college-themed blankets and toy mascots. She used to be able to name almost any college's mascot if you asked her. I don't think my grandma had any education beyond high school, but all three of her children went on to get master's degrees.

My grandma's favorite story to tell us was that in high school, all the girls had to make aprons and embroider their initials on them. Then they had to wear those aprons and take turns serving lunch to the school. My grandma's initials were NC, and all the boys called her North Carolina.

My grandma used to ride the bus to school from the farm she grew up on, and the bus was so cold that they would heat bricks by the fireplace as they got ready for school, and then take the bricks on the bus and rest their feet on the hot bricks.

My grandmother lived alone until my freshman year of college. But she was forgetting things all the time. Important things like that she had to eat every day. So my aunt forced my grandma to move into an assisted living facility, and my grandma was so mad. She used to make up crazy things like that the cooks made them eat waffles made only of water. Eventually, she started to really like the home. But she forgot more and more all the time. When I saw her three years ago, she had no idea who I was, but she knew from the way others acted that she was supposed to know who I was, so she tried to fake it. When I saw her two years ago, she pretended like she was asleep so that she wouldn't have to talk to me. When I visited her town in May, I didn't go visit her. I knew that she was being taken care of, I didn't want to make her uncomfortable, and I didn't want to see how far she had deteriorated. I don't feel bad about that decision, but I do feel bad for not feeling bad.

Today my dad told me that my grandma hasn't eaten in a few days and the only word she will say is water. She can't get in and out of a bed, so she pretty much lives in a wheelchair that can recline. My grandma used to walk two miles every single day and walk to the post office every day to chat with everyone who came in about what was going on around town. And now... I don't know. I just pray that she is comfortable.

So I realize that this post just consists of my random, jumbled thoughts, but I feel jumbled right now. I don't know.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Pictures on the TV

I was going to do a Guitar Hero tutorial tonight to explain to you how Guitar Hero works, but I got sucked into a new love of mine. Iron Chef America!

In case you don't know, I will explain how this show works (to the best of my knowledge). An Iron Chef competes against another professional chef to make an entire meal in one hour, usually at least four courses, and each course must include the "secret ingredient," which is introduced at the beginning of the show. There are five Iron Chefs, and they each have a specialty, like Japanese or Italian cuisine.

Today was a holiday dessert contest. At the end of the hour, three "celebrity" judges taste each dish and then pick a winner. The show also has a chairman who sits at the judge's table on every show and tries all the dishes. I think he is one of the judges too. Ok, it is clear that I am not an expert on the Iron Chef rules, but you get the general idea.

Tonight was different. It was a holiday dessert cook-off, and there were teams. Paula Deen (Food Network show host) and Cat Cora (Iron Chef) competed against two male chefs who I think are also Food Network show hosts. The secret ingredient was sugar.

And look who the judges were!

H and I both love Tina Fey. H may love her a little bit more than I do.

It was very hard to take pictures of this show because the chefs were running around the kitchen all willy-nilly. (I am pretty sure that is the first time in my life I used the phrase willy-nilly.)

The chefs always have sous-chefs who help them prepare things. This grown woman dressed like an elf for the holiday-themed show. I feel that she does not get paid enough for this.

This is one of the competing chefs. He took off his white chef's jacket and was flashing his arms around. It was weird and slightly disturbing. He also spent a lot of the episode flirting with Paula Deen. Put your coat back on!

Of course, during the commercials I had to flip to this to watch my guys (Duke).