Interesting People in Las Vegas

1. Little Straw Hat Ladies. My plane to Las Vegas contained lots of interesting people, many who really wanted to consume a little bottle or two of vodka at 9 am. My favorite people on the plane were a group of 60-year-old ladies and two 30-year-old ladies who were all wearing identical barrettes: little straw hats, the size of hockey pucks, with red ribbons tied around the mini-brims. Some were also wearing pins that looked like margaritas and martinis, while the rest wore pins that flashed neon colors. Very flashy for a Friday morning.

2. Phoenix Girls. The girls in line behind us to get into the "male revue." They were wasted and obnoxious. I was ok with the wasted part, but I got somewhat annoyed after they tried to pick a fight with the Texans (my friend and her three other friends) and me for the third time. One girl kept pushing me, and when I asked her to stop, she yelled, "I'M FROM PHOENIX!" Well, I guess I can't argue with that. Then the bouncer came over to talk with them, and they had their picture taken with him for some reason. They were easily distracted and left us alone after that.

3. The Dancers. The guys from the show were interesting. I am so embarrassed to admit I even went to TTFDU, but I did. It was so cheesy. My friend (the bachelorette) made us get our pictures taken with the guys afterwards, and one of the guys was really friendly and talked to my friend for a little while. He kept asking her about her job. (She is a labor and employment attorney.) I told her later that he may have been hinting that he needed some legal advice re: sexual harassment, as she smacked his ass several times.*

4. Me. I have to make fun of myself here. In the picture with the guys of TTFDU, all the Texans were posing with their arms around the guys and being silly. I am in the middle of the picture, glowing because I am so white, sitting on this guy's lap, and leaning about as far away from him as possible. I am such a nerd! But in my defense, he was covered with baby oil. The picture cracks me up.

5. Miss Thong. We spent most of Saturday at the pool, which was so lovely. After we had been there awhile, a couple sat in the lounge chairs in front of us. The guy was old, and the woman was much, much younger, with b00bs the size of watermelons, and wearing a thong or a g-string or something very, very small. She covered herself in tanning oil and proceeded to reapply the lotion to her butt every two to five minutes. Aaa!

6. Bookie Guy. I called H on Saturday and told him that the De la Hoya/Mayurga fight was going to happen in our hotel that night. H asked me to put $20 on Mayorga to win. I went to the sports betting area, which was pretty busy because the Kentucky Derby was also this weekend. I waited in the shortest line, but after a minute, I realized it was the shortest because it was for the Derby only, and the minimum bet was $500. Not quite what I was looking for! So I found the right line, and when I got to the front I said, "20 on Mayorga to win." I probably pronounced the name wrong, but the guy said sincerely, "Good bet." Aw, yeah. I am an awesome gambler! I felt so proud. I am sure the guy said it to everyone, but I choose to pretend that he was singling my bet out as a good one. Then Mayorga lost, but hey, it was fun.

7. Top Chef. We went to Tao at the Venetian for dinner. The food was ok, but nothing special. The exciting part was that the waitress in the section next to ours was Tiffani from "Top Chef." A pseudo-celebrity sighting!

8. Bartenders. After dinner, we went to the club at Tao. The Texans managed to get us onto the VIP list somehow, and we didn't have to wait to get in. The first thing we did inside was order drinks. The bartenders were so quick and good... and nice! I ordered a screwdriver, which cost $11, but it was more like a full glass of vodka with just a splash of orange juice. The vodak was Grey Goose though, so I can't complain.

9. The Texans. My friend wears Coach sunglasses and Wal-Mart jeans, and I love her for it (although I would love her more if the jeans were from Target, not Wal-Mart). The Texans were really fun, and I was glad to meet them. One of them even let me borrow her hairspray (quite the sacrifice for a Texan) since I forgot mine. I can't wait to hang out with them again at the wedding in three weeks.

*She didn't really slap anyone's ass. I just wish she had because it would have been funny.