The lead sentence in a newspaper article I read: "The killer of a Minneapolis man who went out for drinks with coworkers today received nearly 17 years in prison – the midpoint of sentencing guidelines for his crimes."
Wait. I thought the victim was dead. How did he go out for drinks with coworkers today? And why?
Today, Gmail displayed the following ad for me: "Born Again Floozies - Recorded and mixed by Steve Albini Tuba, 2 tap dancers, great music."
Seriously? Why does Gmail think I would be interested in this?
I think that I have previously asked all of you to ask me any questions you wanted. I can't find that old post though, and I remember that I didn't get any questions. So let us just forget about that episode and move on to today's request. What would you like me to take a picture of to share with the readers of this blog? I will do my best to accomodate all reasonable requests, but there shall be little to no nudity, and I am not going to take a picture of my bank statement or anything of that nature. Would you like to see a picture of our DVD collection? Would you like to see a picture of me pelting H with ninjas? Do you wonder what our basement looks like? Let me know, and I will do what I can! Think of it as my Valentine's Day Present to you!
Here are two freebies to start you off:
I would like to see a picture of your office building.
There you go! Bonus: You get to see how dirty my windshield is!
Could you show us a picture of what the silverware drawer looks like when H puts away the clean dishes?
I would be more than happy to show you, Fake Reader! H apparently does not believe in the wonders of the silverware organizing thingy. But I am just glad that he puts the silverware away, so I am not complaining!
18 comments:
Wow, that dead victim shouldn't party so much. That's kind of like when I saw a squirrel on the way to work. He had a cute little briefcase and everything. haha
I would like a picture of you with your finger guns pointing at random people... say at the grocery store or something like that. ;-)
Haha, that silverware drawer is awesome. And yet somehow not surprising.
Every day without fail at 6 pm I hear that very song coming from my neighbor's apartment, and everyday without fail I sing along and it makes me happy.
I would like to see a picture of you a la Eric Conveys an Emotion (emotioneric.com). In particular, I would like to see "Sarcastic Respect for Authority Figures," but I am open to anything.
Silverware drawer - Funny! It's not that much work!
I would like to see a picture of something cluttered in your home. Junk drawer, junk cabinet, storage room...The messier the better. Just so I know I'm not the only one. If you say "I don't have an area like that at MY house", then I guess my reply will have to be "Uh...Me either."
Hee to your silverware drawer. I'm pretty sure Anthony does things like that so I will get frustrated enough to do it myself all the time. Freakin OCD.
OK, that silverware drawer thing would seriously annoy me. Like, grounds for divorce type of annoy. (OK, so I may be exaggerating. But remember, I live alone. I'm not used to having to deal with other people's quirks.)
How about a picture of your workout area at home? What sort of workouts do you do while watching the DVDs we recommend?
And yes, that song is definitely going to be in my head all morning. I suppose there are worse ones you could have stuck there, though.
I would like to see photos of the expression on your face when confronted with a ridiculous work situation. I am running out of poker face / interest expressions to use in my own ridiculous work situations!
Also, I could never forgive that silverware drawer. You are a better woman than I.
that silverware drawer thing would annoy me to no end. shallow, i know.
i would like to see a picture of that drawer straightened out so that i can sleep at night.
Oh, yeah, if my boyfriend did that with the silverware I would totally no longer bug him about leaving it all sit on the counter because "we're just going to use it again tomorrow anyway."
I would like to see a picture of the inside of the refrigerator. Or did you already post that and I'm forgetting?
3carnations and sparkling cipher beat me to my first two thoughts, so...the view out your living room window/front door?
Let's see your open underwear drawer with the goods inside. (I'm not leaving anything to question.)
~Jef
Hee - this is a fantastic idea! I am voting for a picture of you pelting H with ninjas. Also, I hope that I am still going out for drinks after I am dead - although hopefully not with coworkers, as I plan to retire at least by the time I am dead.
I'm a big fan of your finger guns, as you well know, so I must second DCMM's idea.
The silverware drawer is hilarious. Oh, H. What are we going to do with you?
That song is so going through my head now. Damn you!
Perhaps a photo of your closet. I am forced to live with about 2 cubic feet of closet space in my entire apartment, so I drool over non-NY closet space. Also, I'm curious how neat it is. I'm guessing that depends on whether you or H puts the clothes away.
God bless the men who try to help out - but they never quite get it right do they? Galoot consistently leaves 3 dirty glasses on the counter next to the sink when cleaning the kitchen. So odd, but I swear, it's always 3. I've thought of taking a photo each time I find them just to prove it.
I'd like to see where you work out too. I'm curious about your equipment - er umm... fitness equipment that is.
My eyes are burning from that silverware drawer--I have a severe issue with disorderly silverware, which I've written about in my 6 weird things meme. Thank goodness my OH doesn't go near that drawer.
And just in case it has escaped..."And if you threw a party, and invited everyone you kneeeeeeew..."
while shopping at the local market in Savannah this weekend we came across some sequined purses with the faces of the Golden Girls on the front. I almost bought it. For two reasons: (1) I love the show and (2) my husband HATES it!
I would seriously pelt my husband with spoons if he did that to our silverware drawer. But! I understand that there are levels of what we can expect from our own peculiar Hs. If getting IN the drawer is an accomplishment for H, well, then bless his heart!
How about a picture of you rocking out to Guitar Hero? Not posed, either. Really concentrating on it. Maybe you need to playing Freebird.
My house is a wreck and I'm totally unorganized but the silverware drawer must always be sorted in my house. It's an illness.
Please let me come to your house so I can organize your silverware drawer.
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