Lest you think I actually am trapped in my closet, let me reassure you that I am not. I am actually trapped in my office. Not really much better, but at least the office has running water and Diet Dr Pepper. My life shall probably be like this all week, but that happens very rarely for me, so I am just going to think of it as a good way to build up extra billable hours, which will hypothetically permit me to take a vacation this summer. And I can work from home at night, so I actually got home at a decent time and got to spend about 30 minutes with H and have a "homemade meal", which was nice. The homemade meal was vegetarian corndogs, but still.
So recently I had a way-too-long conversation with the main floor receptionist at my office. I went to her desk to pick up a contract that had just been delivered for me. I told the receptionist, "Hi, I'm -R-, and I need to pick up an envelope that was just delivered."
The receptionist started freaking out because she couldn't find it in the first .1 seconds after I asked. Then when she found it (it only took about 10 seconds, but she was panicking at that point), she asked who I was.
"I'm -R-," I said.
She argued with me. Then she proceeded to look up my picture on the company website and tell me I look nothing like my picture. I offered to show her my i.d. and asked if I could have my envelope. She would not give me the envelope until she had finished telling me every detail that was different between Actual -R- and the Picture of -R-. In case you are wondering, in the picture: I have longer hair, am not wearing glasses, am facing at a different angle, am wearing a different outfit, have different earrings in, and my nose looks different. I pretended to be interested in each discrepancy, when really I was just thinking, "AAAAAAAAARGH." But I am not a pirate and am in fact a nice person, so I thanked her and then ran away.