Thursday, August 31, 2006

-R- Drew And The Case of the Mysterious Movie

I got a call at work today from The Incredible H. "Do you know Steve or Christy LastName from Certain Town, Florida?"

I do not know Steve or Christy. I asked why he was asking me about them.

"I just got a package at work and their names are on the return address. The only thing in the package is a video tape called True Believer. No note or anything."

We named off all the people in Florida that we could think of, but none were named Steve or Christy, and none were from Certain Town.

"Are there people who read your blog from Certain Town?" H asked.

"Not that I know of, but even if there were, how would they get your work address, and why would they send you a copy of True Believer? Is it one of those movies that tries to convert you?"

H said that he looked up the movie, and it was a war movie. AND the video was not shrink-wrapped and was only rewound halfway.

I thought maybe there was something on the tape. Maybe someone had taped over part of the movie with a threat for H. Or maybe someone had taped H doing something illegal (driving through a yellow light?) and was going to try to bribe him. Or maybe it was somehow related to one of his cases. I was certain that the movie contained some kind of awful message, so I told H to make an intern watch the whole movie and report back to him.

I was freaking out all afternoon. Maybe a deranged former client sent H the movie as some kind of warning. Maybe it was from a spurned ex-girlfriend and contained a tape of her threatening to reveal something bad he had done in college (like what, I don't know) if he didn't pay her off. Maybe it was from a victim of one of his clients who was going to try to exact revenge on H because H had gotten his client probation instead of jail time. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE, AND WHY DID THEY SEND H A VIDEOTAPE?

Finally, at 5:30, H called me. The intern who had ordered H a new Incredible Hulk action figure had signed up for an eBay account with H's name and office address as the mailing contact and address so that the Hulk had been sent directly to H. But then the intern had ordered this video and forgot that it would be sent to H. Mystery solved!


Stinkypaw said...

Man! What is it with interns?

Loved that your refered to H and "The Incredible H" - my sentiment exactly!

princess slea said...

HOly CaTz! The intrique. The suspense. The letdown. I was thinking Pelican Brief or that movie with Will Smith where Jason Lee slips a video of Jon Voight murdering some dude into his shopping bag and then the governement is trying to find Will Smith to get it and he doesn't even know he has it....what is the name of that movie?

stefanie said...

Just think of all the other (more incriminating) things the intern could have ordered forgetting it would go to H. I'm actually disappointed it was just some obscure movie. Still, good investigative work, Nancy.

schneids said...

HA! What else is this intern going to do to H? Borrow his car and use for a drug purchase???

The intern is definitely coming off as ditzy in my book. Funny story!

PreppyGirl said...

That is too funny. So what movie was it anyway?

Yez said...

Apologies; cannot address this fascinating case at the moment. Yesrie Drew is working on The Case of the Infinity Mirror, in which a certain blog entry insists on masquerading as the top entry on the home page of a certain blogger who shall remain nameless but whose initial is -R-. I have checked my links! They haven't changed! RSS is my only stoolie - it whispers to me the names of newer entries, and it faithfully carries me there. But when I click "Home"... or when I click on the blog title... I am once again face to face with The Mirror. {{{Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree!}}} I fear my roadster has been tampered with - the steering fluid drained, the brakes disabled....

shpprgrl said...

Things like that can drive you nuts!! And now you're thinking...WHY would they want that movie? :)

Thank goodness it wasn't p*rn.

Jenny said...

I once got a mormon jesus movie in the mail anonymously. I didn't know which was more insulting...that they thought I was going to hell or that they thought I owned a vcr.