Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Thirteen Things That Make Me Type "OMG"

1. I overheard a guy at work making a joke about the Magna Carta. A joke about the Magna Carta. OMG, I work with f'ing nerds.

2. At a work-related party, I went through the buffet for H because his back hurt, and I got him a lot of honeydew. I noticed later that he wasn't eating and asked him what was wrong with the honeydew. He said, "OMG, I hate honeydew. Do you know me at all?" Apparently not.

3. At another work-related party, some bees came near us, and H announced that he was allergic to bee stings. He was stung once when he was pretty young, and disgusting and painful things happened that I will not go into here. The doctor told him that the next time he is stung, he could have a fatal reaction. OMG, don't you think that is something you should tell your wife before you are in a situation in which you are surrounded by bees? We survived unscathed though.

4. I wrote an e-mail to my boss last week that said, "OMG! Don't even tell me that!" I am so professional.

5. OMG, I have been alternating between leaving totally lame and boring comments and weird-ass, only-funny-in-my-mind comments on other people's blogs. Sorry.

6. Jenny and 3carnations (on Miss Zoot's blog) both wrote tremendously nice things about my blog. OMG, it made my whole week. I don't want to get too lame here, so I will just say thanks. (Even though Jenny wants me to go to hell- the nice one with kitties).

7. I am feeling kind of negative about my blog lately, which is stupid. I just see so many people who write better than I do, and I think I suck. But OMG, quit being so hard on yourself, self! Look at #6!

8. I trimmed too much of my toenail last night, and OMG, it really hurts.

9. OMG, I can't believe you are still reading this after I just wrote about my toenail. And I wonder why I don't have more readers.

10. We are inviting people over to our house a week from Saturday for a BBQ and other festivities, and I am kind of freaking out about it. What if it is really boring? I don't know how to entertain people. OMG, what if no one comes? Or worse, what if only one person comes and is a witness to that fact that no one else showed up?

11. I left for work today at around (OMG) 7 am! You should be really impressed!

12. I got home at (OMG) 8:41 pm. You should be really sad.

13. OMG, I love telling you how to feel.


Sarah said...

OMG! This list is too funny! OMG! You crack me up. Don't be so hard on yourself...OMG! :)

Hails said...

hahaha! That is so funny! I use OMG all the time as well! hehe!

Great List! happy TT!

3carnations said...

OMG, I can't believe I got a mention with a link and everything!

OMG, will anyone actually click on it? OMG will anyone leave a comment if they click on it?

OMG, did I say all that out loud?

Never mind...Thanks for the mention. Your blog cracks me up pretty much everytime I read it, so don't compare it unfavorably to others!

Does your husband have one those epipens or whatever they're called in case of a bee sting?

Stinkypaw said...

Apparently knowing everything about your husband wasn't required, but now you know so get him an epipen (he must have one if his reaction to bee stings is so bad - maybe you just don't know about it?! ;-) and remember where it is if you don't want to say OMG!!!

At least you do leave comments! OMG!

OMG the toenail thing that hurts! Do NOT go hiking this weekend with a short toenail! OMG that hurts!

Don't worry about people enjoying themselves, like OMG Guitar Hero!!!

Christine said...

You cracked me up. And for your barbecue, do not worry, just have lots and lots of booze.

People will LOVE it

PreppyGirl said...

A Magna Carta joke? I friggin' love it.

I feel the way you do all the time (that other people write so much better). But hey, people read it so it can't be all bad.

H should get an Epi pen for that bee sting problem. Galoot has one for the same reason (although we never take it anywhere with us so that kinda defeats the purpose). :)

stefanie said...

1. I would love to work with people nerdy enough to make Magna Carta jokes. I think that's hilarious.

2. I hate honeydew, too. How does H feel about cantaloupe? Because that can just go away, too, as far as I'm concerned.

7. I have the exact same problem. Frequently reading other blogs just makes me want to never write in my own because I cannot compete with all the clever brilliance out there. Yes, I have inferiority complexes.

8. I did that the other night, too, so I understand the pain. Oww.
(I bet you didn't expect a comment on the toenail one, did you? Yes, I am really that lame. Feel better now?)

Sparkling Cipher said...

OMG, I am such a dork. I have to comment on the toenail thing because of this crazy dream I had last night. I was living like Tarzan in the jungle and this huge monkey type animal pulled me aside and told me that my toenails were too short and that I'd have a hard time climbing trees with short nails. He showed me his, which were 2 inches long! and said I had 2 months to grow mine or I'd have to leave the jungle. Weird.

And H doesn't like honeydew? That's just wrong.

Karen said...

OMG I love your list!! I have a problem with #5- I write a comment & then re-read it- then delete it because it's so lame...

schneids said...

HA! You crack me up! Love your list. And i love that your wrote OMG to your boss. Funny!

Dorothy said...

You know, my husband and I were just talking about the Magna Carta last night.

We had a bbq a month ago for my BH's birthday. We had 30 people show up for a "couple of people over" night. Luckily, we had a whole cow and several chickens in the freezer. OMG, my family members are totally heifers.

Guinness_Girl said...

1. A joke about the magna carta? What's funny about it?

2. Honeydew is a weird thing to hate!

3. I HATE bees. I can't even imagine having to be afraid that one of those little fuckers could kill my husband.

4. That's okay. Several years ago, I oh-so-professionally called my boss to talk about a case that I was reviewing from home while drinking way too much wine. And then, an hour later, called him to say, "OMG! Did you watch Friends?"

5. It is VERY rare for me to write funny comments.

6. I know what you mean! I felt the same way when M.Thom did it for me.

7. STOP THOSE THOUGHTS RIGHT NOW. You are damn witty and intelligent and I love your blog and if you stop writing it I might die.

8. That sucks, man.

9. I laughed out loud at this.

10. What do you mean, you dont' know how to entertain people? Play good music, have lots of drinks, and, if all else fails, break out the Guitar Hero.

11. & 12. - GOD. I could never work that much. EVER.

13. um...i got nothin' on this one. ;)

jes said...

OMG: I only have one comment!

Seriously, only one comment about an entire list? COULD I BE MORE BORING?

Okay, fine. I have two.

1. The Magna Carta? I am a nerd. I want to hear this joke. I apologize in advance.

2. In regards to Number Seven. I'm there more often than I'd like to admit. I think at some point, we all are.

I'm not sure that my last comment was much of an encouragement, but OMG - it was totally meant to be.

schneids said...

by the way...what kind of joke is that? The Magna Carta walks into a bar...

And is it showing my age that everytime i read OMG...i think it sounds like a "valley girl"? OMG..that guy in my class is like so cute..OMG

digital janitor said...

What I'd like to see next is a list of things that make you say OMFG!!!1!!!1!!one!!~~!!

desiree said...

OMG I couldn't figure out how to comment because, duh, the comments are at the top of the post. Ergo, OMG, I am a retard. But you knew that, didn't you?

Sometimes I hate my blog too. Passionately. But it is all a learning experience, right?

Jenny said...

OMG you crack me up.

I hate it when I throw a party and the first person arrives and those crazy thoughts of will-anyone-else-come-or-will-I -be-forced-to-just-pretend-that-I-only-invited-them-for-the-purposes-of-seducing-them start to flit through my mind.

princess slea said...

Ha, I've said that "do you know me at all " line to my husband many times (hello, I DO NOT Like mustard on my sandwiches).

Serve coctail weenies wrapped in crescent rolls at your party, who can resist? ah childhood.

don't call me MA'AM said...

OMG! How hilarious! And...

OMG! My little pinky toenail finally fell off yesterday, after I smashed it a couple of weeks ago. So, now we can be pain-in-the-toe pals. OMG!

Good list. Really. :-)