Monday, August 21, 2006

Why I Am Better Than You

I was standing around with some coworkers at an after-work function, discussing my love for Project Runway, when this intern piped in, "I don't even own a television."

"Really?" I asked, because I didn't know what else to say.

"Television is so pedestrian. Watching television is such a waste of time, and it rots your brain. I can't believe people watch so much television these days. It just really is not worth it. I haven't owned a television in years."

"Hmmm. That's nice," I say to the intern as I share a look with the partner and freaking HIRING PARTNER with whom I had been discussing Project Runway. "Anyway, I really hope Michael wins."

We continue to discuss Detroit Neck Tattoo and Madame Granny Circles (some of my Project Runway peeps) as the intern stands by awkwardly. And I do not feel bad at all.

"I am so sad Alias is off the air now," says the partner.

The intern grins, "I love Alias! Blah blah blah Sidney Bristow blah blah blah Michael Vartan blah." [Editor's note: Ok, that is not an exact quote, but that is all I know about Alias. Mmmmmm... Michael Vartan.]

"How do you know about Alias?" I ask. "I thought you didn't own a television."

It turns out that the intern doesn't own a television: she rents DVDs of tv shows and then watches them on her laptop. So you are a loser and an idiot if you watch television shows on a television, but if you watch last season's episodes on a laptop, you are a freaking genius and we can all only dream about one day becoming half as wonderful as you are. Yes, I only wish that I could insult a hiring partner to her face when I am a lowly intern.


-R- said...

You lawyers and law students will realize that we don't have interns we have "summer associates," but God that is so pretentious.

Maliavale said...

Oh, how appalling. Um, can I say she needs her ass kicked? Is that appropriate? *crickets*

Libragirl said...

She rents DVD's and watches them on her laptop (I am just using she as a general) wow, that's messed up.
I guess I am an idiotic genius since I rent tv shows to watch on my tv.
Pretentious much.

3carnations said...

Well...I don't eat fried foods. I do, however, occasionally have potatoes that have been cut into strips and cooked in a vat of hot oil.

Why did you just call me a hypocrite? What the heck...?

Stephen said...

I plan on watching loads of televisino this fall. FOr what it's worth, I've parked my exercise bike in front of the tv. Not that I can watch anything intense, like a heavy documentary, while pedaling. Oh, and Tivo is the greatest invention of the past two years. That is all.

Christine said...

I am now an "ex-summer associate" and already missing my paycheck. However, I will admit that I watch entirely too much t.v. The t.v. loves me causing me to say things like, "hmm...should I read for Decedents? Nah, Weeds is on."

princess slea said...

tv taught my daughter to count to five in Spanish, tells me when I should avoid the highways in Indiana because people will shoot at my car, and told me when a little girl in my neighborhood was missing. TV is awesome.

ps. this year's project runway isn't doing it for me as much as the past two years. i keep watching but so far it's been kinda boring (compared to last years Andre and what's his face)

boozie said...


My boyfriend is going through his summer associateship interviews right now. Also, he thinks that TV rots the brain but at least we actually own a TV. Also, I haven't seen "Project Runway" but with everyone talking about it, I think I might have to start watching it. I want to be in the loop of cool people and out of the loop of losers with laptops.

stefanie said...

Yeah. What Princess Diaree said.

Too much of almost anything is bad, but TV definitely has a role that is valid, and I hate the high and mighty types who won't acknowledge that.

Oh, and Michael Vartan? I'm sooo with you on that one. :-)

Guinness_Girl said...

OMG, what an asshole that girl was. Ha. And - Michael Vartan was staying at the same hotel as us when we were in Portofino. I thought about jumping his bones while he was having a drink on the patio, but figured my husband wouldn't appreciate it.

schneids said...

a summer assocaite said that to the hiring partner"? that is pretty stupid. How is it not "wasting time" by watching it on your laptop? Lame.

I just started watching PR because of how much you love it. I am a follower...what can i say? I like it so far...

schneids said...

can i just say that "Sydney Bristow" is totally hot though???

Beth said...

The summer associates crack me up, man. SO eager to please, and SO going about it in horribly awkward ways.

I never know what to say to people who actively hate television. I don't have any problems with people who just haven't taken a shine to it, but thos who judge it? Well I judge them.

jes said...

I used to think that watching TV rotted my brain, until I started watching Laguna Beach.

Now I know that it rots my brain, but it feels so good.

Yez said...

I love TV and fried food and VHS tapes and DVDs, and they are probably responsible for plummeting my intelligence quotient to the 98th percentile! =8-O Not sure what my potential score would have been, as I've been partaking of the first two all my life and the last two since their inception. They've crippled me, I tell ya!

Gee, I sure hope SA's karma doesn't meet SA's dogma and fry the connection to the laptop's monitor....

And Michael totally needs to win.

Stinkypaw said...

We watched way too much tv and if it rots our brains, well, too bad, will keep on watching. Some people should just learn to remain quiet, but Mr. Vartan is too hot not to mention!

Watching whatever on her laptop only makes her an ISIG (Insulting Stupid Intern Geek), nothing much more than that! Maybe the hiring partner should revise her file "very" well?!

-R- said...

Maliavale, I think a good ass-kicking is deserved, but I would just be happy if she does not get hired. I am mean.

Libra, idiotic genius- that's perfect.

3carnations, but then you must go around telling people how great you are for not eating fried foods.

Stephen, I am jealous of your tivo! I am afraid of how much tv I would watch if I had it.

Christine, I want to see Weeds. And you have a class called Decedents? That sounds really boring.

Princess, those are excellent points about tv. And I love PR. I cannot help it.

Boozie, you must start being cool and watching PR!

Stef, Vartan is MINE.

GG, I already thought Portofino was amazing, but now I am definitely going there.

Schneids, you are right, Jennifer Garner is hot too. We shall discuss PR on Thursday.

Beth, yes, let us judge them together.

Jes, that made me laugh.

Yez, is it 98th or 2nd???

Spaw, I do not know the hiring partner very well, but we can certainly hope.

Yez said...

"is it 98th or 2nd???"

BWAAhaha!! I got into Densa, does that help? :> All my aptitude, etc. tests came out the same - great on verbal and spatial stuff, but math tanked, consistently. My best math subject was geometry (I can see it), but I'll have to tackle the rest in my next life :-I

Jenni said...

I HATE people like that! How annoying.