Sunday, October 22, 2006

Last Kiss

My heart almost burst on Thursday night when I watched Jim and Pam talk on the phone during The Office. I got that feeling in the pit of my stomach that I used to get when I had a huge crush on a guy but didn't know if he liked me back. The feeling is part anxiousness and part hopefulness. For me, it was usually mostly anxiousness. It was horrible to want someone to like me so much and to not know if he liked me back at all. Or worse to know that he didn't like me "that way" or not at all. But in the rare moment in which I found out that the person I was crushing on actually did like me back... It sounds so dorky, but it was really just sheer bliss. Momentary bliss, but still. And I won't ever have that feeling again.

Would I trade being married to H for anything? No. Does he make me happier than I ever have been? Yes. He continues to surprise me, make me laugh every day, impress me with his strength, and give me butterflies (metaphorically speaking). I am sure he will continue to make me happy in ways I can't yet imagine. But there are also things I will never experience again because I am married, and that is a little bit sad.


3carnations said...

First of all, hubby is not ACTUALLY giving you butterflies? That's what I thought you meant until I read metaphorically...Oh never mind, sarcasm doesn't always type well.

It's funny you mention the good things about dating that you miss. Generally I tend to go the other way - Like I'm so glad I don't have to wonder if someone will call. Like I don't have to wonder if someone likes me back...Dating usually was a stressful pain in the neck, in my opinion.

I also had a knack for ending up with some real...Interesting people. Like the guy who I had been seeing, but someone had told me the night before that last date that they thought he had a girfriend. So, I went on the date anyway. On the date he mentioned something about how he has always liked redheads (I'm a redhead) and that his first girlfriend was a redhead. Without missing a beat, I said "What color hair does your current girlfriend have?" His mouth dropped open, he stared for a second, and said "She's a brunette." The date kind of went downhill from there.

Marmite Breath said...

I was the same way watching that episode. Something about their relationship just really tugs at my heartstrings. I was the same with Tim and Dawn on the original, but something about Jim just grabs me. I think it's his hotness mixed with his unbelievable sweetness. I'll shut up now.

Guinness_Girl said...

I totally know what you mean! Sigh. :)

schneids said...

i know what you mean about married life. The first kiss when you like someone. That is amazing. But, i will not miss the single alone-ness and wondering if i will ever meet the right person and all that. Those were hard times.

And your H is an awesome guy....

Stinkypaw said...

aaawww... I hear you!

Lawyerish said...

God. I know *exactly* what you mean. First kisses are priceless. But, Lord, I used to have so much angst over relationships and crushes and dating and no one liking me, and aaaaaagh! What a mess. I thank the good Lord for my husband every day. (Not just because I'm a desperate loser who wants to avoid being know what I mean!)

LC said...

It's not that I can't wait until I get married, because I don't forsee that in the near future, but there is something about dating that totally turns me off.

Like 3carnations, I am a magnet for the unusual, the last of them being the toesucker.

It is something I don't wish even my worst enemy to go through, toe-rape.

Nightmarish, even.

But I am all about the crushes. I should know, I've had one for months.

-R- said...

3cars, I know. I thought you might all think he was literally handing me butterflies, so I thought I would clear that up.

Marmite, I was like that about Tim and Dawn too, but it was a little bit different because Tim dated that other girl for a little while. Maybe that is the difference?

GG, Sigh.

Schneids, thanks. H is Incredible!

Spaw, I was worried that this post would come across as me being down on marriage, which I am definitely not.

Lawyerish, I do not miss the angst either, except the angst is what made the first kiss so good!

LC, a toesucker! AAAA!