Thursday, November 02, 2006

London Calling

I have a problem. I get crushes on men with British or Irish accents. Not all men with those accents. H's uncle, for example, is a British man that I don't have a crush on because that would just be weird. [H just read this and asked to which uncle I am referring. Umm... THE BRITISH ONE.] But dudes my age with all their teeth... aw, yeah. [H's uncle has all his teeth, as far as I know. He is just H's uncle, which is somehow incestuous even though he is not related to H or me by blood, and anyway, I am just ending this bracket now.]

It is my dream that someday, the head partner guy at work will come into my office and say, "-R-, we have this really important project in London that only you can do, so we are sending you to London for six months. You will have to work up to six hours a day, and have the rest of your day for sightseeing. And we will pay for H to go with you." It is going to be marvelous!

But anyway, today this guy from London was visiting our firm, and a guy I worked with asked if I wanted to go to lunch with the Londoner and him. My answer was, "YESSSSSSSSSS.......... Damn I have a stupid conference call at noon. NOOOOOOOOOO!"

It is probably a good thing that I couldn't attend the lunch and fall in crush with the Londoner though. This is what I was wearing today:

A red v-neck sweater and black pants. The outfit appears decent from afar.

But check this out:

'Tis my secret shame. The fly on these pants is SEVEN. INCHES. LONG. OMG.
Do you think this is the "London Bridge" Fergies refers to in her song? And if so, why does she have pants with a seven-inch zipper?

I bought these pants at least 6 years ago and then never got them hemmed, so I couldn't wear them. I finally got them hemmed, and now I realize that they have the hugest crotch ever. OMG. But I must wear them anyway because they were expensive, and I have had them for six years and moved them to 3 different houses. I must get my money's worth. However, I don't think London Dude needs to see them.


Libragirl said...

I totally get the Accent crush thing. If your job sends you to London, will you adopt me. I love London.

7 inch zipper, um, hello, the 80's called, they want the pants back

3carnations said...

Thanks so much. Thanks for having me standing at my desk with my back turned, in case someone walks by, measuring my zipper. 5½ inches. So yeah, yours is big. Please don't measure anything else in your blog. I obviously don't have the self control to refrain from doing the same at my desk after you do it. Thank you.

Incidentally...I doubt he would have noticed your zipper. But I could be wrong...

stefanie said...

I totally considered measuring my zipper, too, but I refrained. I am certain it is nowhere near seven inches, though. But I get the need to keep wearing something you paid good money for (or the rationalization that "oh who cares; I'm just going to work").

Also, I have a similar fantasy where I just pick up and move to London. Somehow all the details (housing, insurance, paycheck) would miraculously work themselves out, and I would meet a charming British guy to fall in love with me the second I step out into the street. You know, like Natalie Portman in "Closer." Without all that nasty stuff that happened afterwards.

PreppyGirl said...

Me loves me some Hugh Grant (save all the "blow job from a hooker" stuff). Colin Firth ain't too shabby either - and let's not forget Cary Grant. Hot Brits.

After reading libragirl's comment, all I can think of are the Hammer pants. Word.

Guinness_Girl said...

HA on the 7-inch zipper! Ha!

I lurve me some accents, too.

Christine said...

7 inch zipper? And I called my boyfriend Urkel the other day making fun of his hiked up boxers, but lady holy moly. Hopefully the shirt conceals the fact that you're wearing the pants up to your chest. Isn't it funny what we do when we have clothes we won't get rid of, even when they're ridiculous. As much as I make fun I think there is a similar pair of Mavi jeans in my closet that I held onto for ages in the hopes that I would fit into them...and then when I did, I realized the silliness of the cut. Oh well.

And accents. Yum.

LC said...

I think I am the only girl in the world that doesn't appreciate a good british accent, or perhaps is because it was EXTREMELY DIFFICULT to understand what a man was tellling me when he was trying to get into my pants.


Word on the expensive/what the hell Im only going to work clothes, today I am wearing jeans that are waaaay too long and didn't even cared about hemming them.

I just stapled them instead.

-R- said...

For the record, I wore them with the waist rolled down. So I think the zipper appeared to be only (approximately) 6.5 inches long. Heh.

jes said...

You cannot possibly understand how grateful I was for your descriptions, because otherwise I would have not know what the pictures were, once again.

Work blocking images totally sucks.

Stinkypaw said...

I have a thing for accents too - the cutest is a Brit kid - too darn much!

As for your zipper, you're well endowed my dear!

-R- said...

Libra, ha! I know!

3cars, I am going to have to measure some of my other patns this weekend for comparison.

Stefanie, thanks for understanding. When I get sent to London, I will let you visit and stay with me for free. (So pencil that trip in for the year 20NEVER.)

Prep, I do not own and have never owned Hammer pants. Or Zuba pants. Should I be sad about this?

GG, accents make me melt!

Christine, as I mentioned earlier, I rolled the waistband down to prevent wearing my pants around my chest!

LC, there was sometimes an accent barrier when I stayed in Ireland, but I did not let that stop me!

Jes, I actually thought of you when I was writing those captions.

Nat said...

You should meet my Dad. He has been in America for 16 years and still can't get the people in the McDonalds Drive-thru to understand him. But perhaps you wouldn't like him--he is almost 60 and wears cake on his face when he's drunk.
I always dreamed I would marry a fellow Brit, but I married a Southerner instead. Our kids talk funny.

Galoot said...

The extra long zipper reminded me of this:

I showed this to my Mom once. She laughed at the irony of it.

don't call me MA'AM said...

When I spent two weeks in Great Britain, I was in *heaven* listening to all the glorious accents. Plus... not one person ever asked me, "Where's the warsh-room?"

Trying to decide if I prefer a 7-inch zipper or a 1.5 inch zipper. 3 or 4 is okay, but below that... not so much.

schneids said...

why would the british guy be even looking at your zipper????

Just askin'....

schneids said...

oh..and thanks for getting "london bridge" in my head.

-R- said...

Schneids, the song was in my head all day too! And you know the London guy would TOTALLY be checking out my zipper.