Wednesday, August 08, 2007

This Post Brought To You By Coffee Plus Not Enough Sleep

When I am upset about something (which I am not right now, I was just thinking about this on my drive home from the bus stop), I deal with my sadness or anger or other feelings by talking about the upsetting thing. So when I got super smoldering angry with H about something a while ago, I let myself steam about it for a while, and when I didn't start feeling better about the situation, I called Double G (my best friend from high school) and said, "Aaa! I am so pissed off about this! Blah blah blah!" And then I felt a lot better. But sometimes, talking about a situation once does not make me feel better. I have to talk about it 50 times. Frequently, once I feel better, I forget all about it. And then a friend will say, "Hey, remember when that really bad thing happened and you were so pissed and talked about it for a week?" And I will have no idea what they are talking about. That happens to me more frequently than you would think. Well, more frequently than I would think it would happen. Or maybe I am just losing my damn mind [which certainly seems like the case after re-reading this post].

So Double G is probably my best friend (besides H), even though I don't talk to her that often. But I am not sure that I am her best friend. She has a few really close friends from college who are all awesome women, and I think they are better at staying in touch with Double G than I am. (I kind of suck at regular communication right now. I am not even a good e-mailer, which used to be my strong point. I was an awesome e-mailer.) I have one really close friend from college who would be the other candidate for my best friend, but I think I am probably more open with Double G. Anyway, the point of this is that it doesn't bother me if we are not mutual best friends. My best friend in law school (besides H) was this guy from the bad date story. I know without a doubt that I was not his best friend in law school, but it never bothered me. And now he lives near me, and I think that (besides his girlfriend) I am probably his best friend in Minnesota, and yet, he is not mine. And it's ok! I am probably the only adult who even thinks about things like this, but that didn't bother me until just now when I typed this all out, and now I look like some weirdo who keeps best friend tallies or something. I don't. This is just a random observation. That I feel the need to write out and publish on the internet.

The thinking about best friends leads me to thinking about mean girls. I have read other female bloggers write posts referring to mean girls who picked on them. I don't think I've ever dealt with that. Not that I was never made fun of in my whole life. Of course I was. But the only example I can think of is that one time in first grade, my pants were riding really low when I was sitting in the cafeteria, and a group of other first graders saw my butt and pointed at me and laughed. But I just pulled up my pants and pretended I wasn't embarrassed. And one time in eighth grade, I heard these three girls I didn't like talking about me behind my back, and they were saying that I thought I was smarter than everyone. It hurt my feelings, but it was probably true. I probably did think I was smarter than everyone. I was certainly smarter than them. Ah, it is funny how I still feel bitchy about those girls 15 years later. But I never had a group of mean girls pick on me, and I never have had any fears of being friends with girls, about which there was an interesting discussion on Jonniker's blog.

In case the rest of this post was not long and random enough, can I tell you that I am kind of freaking out because I got a postcard in the mail offering me a free DVD about breastfeeding? Why does anyone think I would need such a DVD? Shouldn't I have a baby or something first? Or even be pregnant? Did the breastfeeding people just send this postcard to all women between the ages of 18 and 55? Is this some kind of breastfeeding DVD scam to which I am not hip?


girls are crazy, and that's JUST FINE said...

Breastfeeding dvd? GOOD LORD. that is just wrong. But best friend tallying? Completely normal. No worries.

abbersnail said...

M'kay. I have totally thought about the non-mutual best friends thing. I refer to two guys as "my best friend." The three of us grew up together. I know that they refer to each other as "best friends." I'm in the mix somewhere, but I'm not in that top category. This bothers me only minimally.

Also, a breastfeeding DVD is possibly the most disturbing thing I've read all day.

stefanie said...

I did not get the info about the breastfeeding DVD. Maybe while you don't have to be pregnant to be on that mailing list, you do at least have to be married? Maybe they looked up the marriage license records from the past few years and thought, "These two are probably about ready to pop out a kid by now"? That's my theory, and I'm sticking to it.

As for the friends stuff... if you never got picked on by mean girls, does that mean you WERE one of the mean girls?? (Say it isn't so, R!)

sognatrice said...
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sognatrice said...
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sognatrice said...

OK, this is getting ridiculous: attempt three now at a comment with the right link. Sheesh. I told you I'm not good at this (in one of the deleted comments).

Anyhoo--I was going to say the same thing as Stefanie...if we know there are always mean girls, and you weren't picked on by the mean girls, hmm....

But on another note, WHY haven't you entered my very first e-party and blog contest yet? Are you morally against a free cute handmade bag or something?

Hope to see you around my place soon despite the fact that I've made a mockery of your comment section on this post. That'll learn me to try to use HTML tags like I know what I'm doing.

-R- said...

Haven't you people seen my prom picture? I was way too nerdy to be a mean girl!

KM said...

My best friend is best friends with someone else, and the woman who considers me her best friend is not my best friend, but it's all good. I think this would have been complicated in elementary or middle school because of the BFF necklaces and note-writing and all, but now it's normal.

I did not get a breastfeeding DVD (thank God!) but I do get formula and diaper samples from time to time. It equally freaks D out and starts him talking about how he will take our (hypothetical future *son*) to baseball games.

L Sass said...

Dude, whenever I see girls who are currently 13-15 doing their 13-15 year old girl thing, I seethe at them. I want to be like, "You think you're cool because you're the popular girl in 8th grade? Well, YOU'RE NOT. The girls who were cool in 8th grade and wouldn't talk to me now are hairstylists and manicurists. And, me? I have a career. So you are nothing."

Wow, bitter much?

Paisley said...

WOW! I NEEDED that DVD and they never sent it to me. Bastards! I had to call the scary lactation consultant and cry in the corner.


I have had the same best friend since freshman year in high school. I am so lucky to have her. Strangely, when we didn't live near each other during college we became closer even though she never wrote me and nobody emailed back then AND she had just gotten married.

OMG I just admitted that when I was in college NOBODY EMAILED! AND IT WASN'T THAT LONG AGO. Wait. Maybe it was. See Stefanie's blog post. Time flies!!!


One Smart Cookie said...

Whew - I'm so glad I'm not the only one who does the friend tallying!

Re: Breast feeding DVD. If you could figure out how you got on that mailing list, you could also probably figure out how to sign up other people for it. I'm just sayin'... it would be pretty funny to send that to a few people as a practical joke.

metalia said...

Trust me, you're going to want to skip that DVD. I'd seen a similar such video in anticipation of T's birth. It was, well, disturbing, to say the least. So...many...nips!

-R- said...

Girls, thanks for the reassurance.

Abbersnail, would you like me to send you a copy of the postcard?

Stefanie, the card was sent to -R- Maidenname, so I am pretty sure the mailing list is not based on anything marriage related. You had a good theory though.

Sognatrice, as I already mentioned in a comment, I was SO not a mean girl! I think I was just successful in avoidng the mean girls' wrath.

KM, well, of course you're going to have a son! (Or maybe twin sons!)

L Sass, I wonder if my hair stylist is a former mean girl from your high school!

Paisley, perhaps I should hold onto the postcard then just in case I need it some day. And e-mail was really new when I was in college, so don't feel too old.

Cookie, I don't think it is a conscious tallying... it just happens.

Metalia, thanks for the warning! But now I think H is going to want to order it.