Monday, August 20, 2007


How I Rate Movies

Fantastic: Knocked Up, The Sound of Music, The Bourne Identity, Elf
Great: Superbad, Clueless, Talladega Nights
Good: 40 Year Old Virgin, Mallrats, Anchorman
Eh: American Pie
Horrible, Do Not Go See This: Wedding Crashers, Two and a Half Men*

*I had to throw this in, so great is my vendetta against this show.

Your Craziness Inspires Me

Laurie wrote recently that she is such a worrier, she used to make sure her (now ex-)husband knew what pictures he should use in case she went missing or died. And I instantly thought of the "run-away bride." Remember? When she went missing, her family supplied the craziest, googley-eyed photo of her to the media. I cannot let that happen to me!

So I asked H if he needed a picture of me for a Missing poster or for my obituary, what would he use? And he said this:
[me holding a box of Peeps while making a face of disgust]

Ummm... no. He seriously loves that picture and even had it as his screensaver at work for a while, but do I want that picture all over CNN? No. So he suggested this:
[a close-up of me looking super-smiley]

I admit it is better, but I don't know why H can't select a normal picture, like this one of my uncle and me.
[picture of my uncle and me]

So I asked H what picture he wanted if he goes missing or dies. Without even pausing, he said, "My drunk David Hasselhoff picture!"
[picture of a shirtless H eating a hamburger while lying on the floor]


alyndabear said...

Hah! Am literally laughing my ass off at his pic. What a loon :)

P.S. Elf is AWESOME.

3carnations said...

I'm pretty sure there's a law against using a shirtless photo for your "missing" photo...But I could be wrong. ;) I like -H-'s second choice picture best...But try not to go missing. :)

I liked Wedding Crashers, but I too refuse to watch Two and a Half Men...But only because I will not watch anything with Charlie Sheen.

Noelle said...

I would call Wedding Crashers missable as well. Sometimes I think missing people decide to stay missing because the picture their family picked out was just so embarrassing.

Christine said...

I love H and I LOVE that he posed for a drunk Hoff pic. I'm pretty sure that my boyfriend may be his long lost, shorter brother.

You guys should live here.

Lawyerish said...

That last picture made my morning. I may put it on my screensaver.

How is Anchorman not fantastic? HOW??

KM said...

I am sad to say that I have not seen half the movies that make up your ratings key. However, I do generally agree with your ratings (as I have seen one in each category) with the exception of Wedding Crashers. I own it. I love it. I'm not ashamed.

And the 'which picture would you use if I was missing' thing? Yeah, that is something I would totally do. I can't believe I haven't covered that with D yet!

lizgwiz said...

That wacky H! I don't think his picture would do much to help find him, but it would certainly bring some entertainment to the world.

You can slam Two and a Half Men as hard and often as you like. Dreck! Dreck, I tell you!

I would rate 40-Year-Old Virgin higher, if only for the dance sequence at the end. I'll watch the whole movie just to see Paul Rudd in that scene--he just throws himself into it so hard. It kills me every time. (Yes, I loves me some Paul Rudd. And some Steve Carell. And some Seth Rogen. And I have girl crushes on Catherine Keener and Jane Lynch. It's the perfect movie for me.)

L Sass said...

I was recently watching a Dateline / Court TV exclusive with AS and his roommate about a murdered actress. The producers seemed to have an unlimited supply of the following two types of photos of the victim:

1. Joyous, carefree shots of the actress prancing on the beach, hugging friends and family, with a wide smile, ("She was hopeful and young and naive and moved to LA to make her mark on Hollywood")

2. Photos of the actress looking off into the distance, a brooding look on her face ("But little did she know that evil lurked in the big city")

I immediately became concerned that, if I am ever murdered, there are not enough pensive-looking photos of me for the Dateline report. You know, the type where you can see in my eyes that I knew, deep down, that I would die a violent and untimely death.

One Smart Cookie said...

The text underneath that first picture of you would have to read, "Missing: Woman with mild obsession with Peeps. Last seen at grocery store clutching Peeps. May have been taken by someone offering her free Peeps. If found, counter-offer with more Peeps and she should come along without a fight."

stefanie said...

I actually watched a full episode of Two and a Half Men for the first time last night, because I was too lazy to find something else to leave on while balancing my checkbook and because I figured maybe it was best to know just what I was scoffing at when that station refers to it as "America's Number 1 comedy."

So yes. I watched it. Don't worry. I didn't like it. Not even a little bit. I am ashamed when I find myself laughing at a dumb joke on an even dumber sitcom, but in this case, I didn't even crack a chuckle once. Yeah, I don't get it.

Also, Liz? You'll have to fight me for Paul Rudd. Keep your hands off-a my man! ;-)

Beth said...

Hi there. I am finally visiting your blog! How are you?

Since I haven't read everything, I am unaware of the reasons behind your Two and a Half Men hatred. Or is it Charlie Sheen hatred? E and I watch it, and think they have clever writers. Fill me in!

metalia said...

OMG...I'm DYING. I was not prepared for thr drunk David Hasselhoff. AWESOME. Also? I was on a Jet Blue flight one time, and the only thing on at the time besides soccer and news/nature programs was Two and a Half Men. It was the longest 23 minutes of my life...
...And I've been in labor.

don't call me MA'AM said...

H Rules.

And I love the Peeps picture too. I've secretly had it as MY screensaver at work, but I am now going to switch it out for the Drunk Hoff pic. ;-)

Oh, and where would The Princess Bride rate on your system?

chirky said...

Dude. *I* need a drunk David Hasselhoff picture.

Thank you for supplying my new goal tonight.

jen from boston said...

H. is too twisted. Mad love/props for his "gone missing" faux-Hoff photo.

Warrior Knitter said...

I'm a CAP fan, too!

laurie said...

BTW, I love that I can be an inspiration for paranoia :) hehehehehe