Time for a Random Story!

Last year, before a long-ish car trip, I decided it was really important to stop for coffee first. So I went to the coffee place in my neighborhood at the time and got a coffee cooler. I would definitely recommend the chocolate cooler! Anyway, before getting back into the car, I put the cooler in the cupholder in the middle console, which is attached to the driver seat. I then determined that I needed to move the driver's seat back a little bit. And I felt the need to push the seat as hard as I could. Why? We will never know. So I pushed the seat back really hard, and chocolate cooler shot up through the lid of my cup, soaking the ceiling and windows. Ever try cleaning coffee off of the ceiling of your car in a parking lot with people watching you and looking at you like you are a weirdo? The ceiling may still be sticky, but it's not like I have too many occasions to touch the ceiling of my car, so I am not too worried about it.

I have been working twelve-hour days, followed by mandatory work-sponsored "fun" events, and I will be working all weekend as well. Not only do I not have time to post, but I believe all humor has been drained out of my body. Good times.

Most Romantic Present Ever

I have forgotten to mention what I received for Valentine's Day!

When I got home from work on Tuesday, H told me that he knew we weren't supposed to
exchange presents, but he had gotten me something anyway. He left the
room and came back with... recycling bins so we can organize all our
recyclables!!! Of course, I swooned.

Allegedly, this candy heart suits me, but I don't think I am quite as barfingly cute as this little quiz thinks I am.

Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me"

A total sweetheart, you always have a lot of love to give out. Your heart is open to where ever love takes you! Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking What turns you off: fighting and conflict Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

How to Freak Out Someone You Live With

(I know it should be "someone with whom you live," but I am not that pretentious.)

H loves to try to sneak up on me. When I am typing on the computer in the office, he will attempt to silently climb the stairs and peek his head around the corner to see if his surprise attack is working. When I am downstairs watching tv in the living room, he will try to get behind the couch and jump up to scare me. When I am in the shower, he will try to sneak into the bathroom and then stare at me until I notice him. I almost always catch him, so he rarely gets to scare me. Which is good, because I hate to be scared.

Last night, when we were going up to bed, I went to the kitchen to get some water. H turned off all the lights in the house, and then hid on the stairs. I thought he was up in the bedroom. I tried to walk to the bedroom in the dark. I got to the bottom of the stairs, sensed that someone/something was there and SCREAMED. It was the loudest, highest scream I have ever created. Then I started hysterically
laughing, which turned into crying. H was TOTALLY freaked out. He looked at me with big, sad, frightened eyes, but it took me a few minutes to stop crying.

H claims now that he was even more scared by the incident than I was. But I didn't hear him screaming like a banshee, so I don't think he has much of a case. The good news is that I think now he has finally learned his lesson about trying to scare me!

I finished reading Tilt last night. I read the whole book in three days, which is somewhat unusual for me lately. It was funny but draining and very thought-provoking. I would definitely recommend it.

A Valentine's Day Celebration (early)

I don't celebrate Valentine's Day. I always hated it when I was single, and I never thought it was fair to start liking it once I met H. Actually, we tried to celebrate our first V Day together (4 years ago), but we ended up fighting after I created a giant, gooey, sticky clump of spaghetti that was supposed to be our dinner. So anyway, we don't exchange presents or go out for dinner, but I do want to make sure H knows how much I love him.

Things I Love About H

1. His smile
2. The twinkle in his eyes
3. The jokes he makes that only I think are funny
4. His intelligence
5. His kind heart
6. The way he helped that woman at Ikea who could not get her shopping cart over the curb - his kindness made her cry (tears of relief and happiness)
7. His willingness to help anyone at any time
8. How he runs to the door to hug me every night when I get home from work
9. The ways he has changed and grown since I have met him
10. His need for my approval after he gets a haircut
11. His dedication to his friends
12. The cute dances he does around the house
13. His attempts to sing, despite the fact that he is tone deaf
14. The way he plays with our nieces and nephews
15. His devotion to his family
16. How he helps to make me a better person
17. His spirit
18. How he always tries to get me to laugh
19. He puts up with my silliness
20. He joins in my silliness
21. He lets me sleep in on Saturdays
22. His decision to go to church with me, even though we don't have the same beliefs in some ways
23. How he tries to find out what all his presents are before his birthday or Christmas
24. The way he respects me
25. His exuberance
26. His willingness to watch the occasional girly movie (Thirteen Going on Thirty, anyone?)
27. The millions of sweet things he does that he would be embarrassed about if I wrote about them on the internet
28. The way he loves me

Read this post by H and then try to tell me that he is not the best husband there is.

Edited 2/14: I forgot to mention his muscles. I love his muscles!

Monkey Freak Out

We finally went to see Glory Road last night. I loved it. I love cheesy, "inspirational," sports movies with happy endings. (Not those kind of happy endings, H.) I loved Hoosiers. I loved Miracle. And I have cried at the end of Rudy every single time I have watched it, even when I was watching it with a room full of 9th graders. (I taught a faith formation, aka CCD, class last year, and another teacher brought Rudy in on the last day for some reason. We all watched it together, and I totally cried. But it was just the leaky tears kind of crying. So maybe no one noticed. Yeah, right.)

Right now, H and I are on a Hitchcock kick. Actually, we are just on my section of the Blockbuster Online list, and I am loving it. H thought he was going to hate all the movies, but he has actually admitted to liking some of my selections. So far we have seen North by Northwest (probably the best one), Rear Window (another one of my favorites - Jimmy Stewart, Grace Kelly, and Perry Mason!), Charade (surprisingly good), To Catch a Thief (not that great), and Vertigo (not good at all). We just got Notorious in the mail today, and I am looking forward to it. I have never seen it all the way through, and although I've seen the end several times, I really want to see the beginning!

The worst movie I have ever seen is 2001: A Space Odyssey. It took H and I three nights to watch the whole thing because H fell asleep during it the first two nights. The first night he fell asleep, I kept watching it. When he woke up and aksed what he had missed, I told him, "Just monkeys freaking out a couple times." Seriously. The second night he fell asleep, I just turned the thing off because he was the one who wanted to watch it. I had had quite enough monkey freakouts. On the third night, we watched the rest of it, but I don't know why because we both hated it, and it made no sense. For example, I bet the following search phrase will lead you to a website about 2001: A Space Odyssey: "monkey freakout Jupiter fetus." That is my summary of the movie: monkey freakout Jupiter fetus. I don't get it, and I don't want to. Thus concludes my movie reviews of movies from prior decades. We are on the cutting edge here in Minnesota. What are these Internets you speak of?

D.C.

Is it strange

that the only person I told about my blog is H? I will feel too much pressure to be funny or clever if the other people that I know and love start reading this blog. In general, I am a relatively good story-teller and can be pretty funny, but it doesn't seem to really show up on this blog. One reason may be that I tend to write here after work, and I am usually pretty exhausted. I have almost a 60 minute commute to work each way, and I usually work 10 hour days. So I come home, chat with H for a little while, work out, and then try to write. I come up with good blog entries when I am at the office avoiding actually completing projects that are due or when I am trying to fall asleep, but staring at the computer screen after a full day is just not conducive to interesting writing. Maybe I should start trying to write in the mornings? I don't know. Now I'm writing this on the weekend, yet it is still extremely boring. But I have about 5 hours of work I need to do today, plus take care of H who is extremely sick- again. First the eyelid issues, then his back went out, then he had to get an endoscopy, and now he has flu-like symptoms. All in the last 2-3 weeks. Poor guy.

Six Phrases That Should Be Banned

1. The ball is in his/her/their court.

2. I could care less.

3. "Literally" when used to mean "figuratively" (example heard on NPR a few weeks ago: "Israel's prime leader is literally larger than life." Really? How large is life, 5'9"?)

4. fo' shizzle (or really any word to which -izzle is added in a pathetic attempt to be cool)

5. I'm not sexist/racist, but . . .

6. Raise the roof! (actually said by my boss last week, thinking this was a new and totally hip phrase)