Thursday, August 10, 2006

Benign Riot

I have a friend at work. Yes, I know; it is shocking. My friend and I tell each other stupid stories and make fun of our coworkers. I know my friend repeats some of my stories to his wife because the first time H and I met her, she made a reference to the benign riot story I had told my friend.

Benign Riot Interlude

About two years ago, I had to watch multiple hours of surveillance video of a jail riot. For your future reference, jails do not cheap out on their surveillance cameras. This was some excellent, full-color coverage. However, the footage was not so exciting.

Guards: Please go into your cells. We need to count everyone right now.
Prisoners: Nooooooooooo! We want popcorn!
Guards: Please go to your cells?
Prisoners: [Standing around by the guards' counter] Popcorn! Popcorn!
Guards: Cells?

The prisoners started stacking chairs and making their t-shirts into turbans and bandana-type headgear. (Very prison chic.) Then the guards walked out of the jail. Just. Walked. Out.

For the next eight hours, the prisoners ate popcorn, tried to use the phone, and tried to use the guards' computer to get on the internet. Finally the SWAT announced they were going to enter. The prisoners all went and stood in their cells. Swat threw in some smoke bombs and busted into the jail in full riot gear. The prisoners just watched from their cells.

End of Interlude

My friend at work told me a story this morning, and H called a few minutes later. I told H the general outline of my friend's story.

Later, H forwarded me an e-mail he had received that was kind of related to my friend's story, and it was funny. So I forwarded it to my friend. He didn't respond. I started worrying that I had offended him. A few hours later, he came by my office, and he had not been offended. He had been doing this thing I should try sometime called actually doing work. I am so lame.

And now I am hungry for popcorn.


Yez said...

BWAAAAAAhahahhaha! The Great Popcorn Rebellion of 2004!

Galoot said...

I'm going to use my very first internet acronyms here "OMFG" and "LMAO"!

You painted a vivid picture. Sounds like a comedy movie scene in the making.

Guinness_Girl said...

Are you serious? It was all over their desire for popcorn? And, THAT was the "riot"? Heh.

Lawyerish said...

Call the ACLU! The prisoners are being deprived of their popcorn!

That was awesome.

boozie said...

Popcorn. Who knew? Now that I "all of the sudden" am in love with popcorn, I think I would have reacted the same way.

Stinkypaw said...

Wow! Popcorn? Wow!

And, BTW, work?!

Libragirl said...

Popcorn. Why not potato chips
did they want orvill reddenbackers (sp) movie theatre popcorn
ummmmmmm butter.

don't call me MA'AM said...

That prison riot was more tame than some of my 8th grade students when they realized that, yes, we did have to take a final in a music class (it wasn't my choice... the school forced us all).

8th graders can sure throw tizzies. And chairs.