Wednesday, October 18, 2006

The Holiday House

The quickest way to get to my house involves driving past a few strange houses in my neighborhood. My favorite is The Holiday House. But first I will show you my least favorite house. In September 2005, when we moved in, the least favorite house had no decorations up. And then for Christmas, they put some lights up... around the middle of their house. It seemed kind of weird, but I thought that they must be putting the lights around the middle of the house so that they would be easy to take down in January even if it was icy. But no. Here is what the house looked like in April 2006.

This is also what the house looks like now. Christmas lights around the middle of their house ALL YEAR ROUND. Lovely.


1. Fake metal fence around the entire yard.
2. Skulls on poles surrounding the entire yard.
3. Tombstones.
4. Decapitated kneeling bride.
5. Vampire groom standing over the bride.
6. Skeleton in a bed.
7. Grim reaper looking over the skeleton in a bed.
8. Ghoul waiter.
9. Two ghouls being served dinner by ghoul waiter at a fancy table.
10. Giant coffin.
11. Five foot tall inflatable gargoyle with flashing red eyes.
12. Ghosts hanging from trees.
13. Orange lights and flood lights and all kind of lights.

This picture does not capture the true craziness that is The Holiday House. I will try to take another picture for you tomorrow.

So last year when we saw The Holiday House in all its Halloween glory, H and I got really excited to see what The House would do for Christmas. Because if they go this crazy for Halloween, they must just have real live reindeer in their yard at Christmas.

And then in December... Nothing. Not a single decoration for Christmas or Hannukah. Ok, so maybe they are not religious. Not a big deal. But then in the Spring...

WTF? Who decorates for EASTER but not for CHRISTMAS? Answer: The Holiday House.

(This was only the beginning of the decorating. They like to put out a little decoration each day.)

PS The Holiday House requests that people bring nonperishable food items and put them in the coffin for donation to local food shelters. Last year, The Holiday House collected several hundred pounds of food (according to the sign in their yard.)


Yez said...

I don't know what's scarier, the Holiday House or all your stalkery stakeout car-window shots X-D

Maybe the around-the-middle placement of lights is to make the house look bigger. Wearing horizontal stripes and all.

Jenny said...

Liars. They probably eat all the food they collect themselves but around easter they run low and have to restock.

Carmen said...

my friend lives in a neigborhood with one of those houses. they have a fake goose that they dress up for each holdiay. rednecks. ha.

3carnations said...

We have a couple houses in our neighborhood that leaves the lights up all year. I tend to be slow with the decoration changing, too...But we haven't put up lights in a few years.

Lawyerish said...

Between this and the door to door Mormons, I feel like I'm missing out on a lot living in a city. Because giant Easter eggs and kneeling decapitated brides? Does it get any better than that?

PreppyGirl said...

Those lights around the middle of the house are quite strange. This Christmas you should send over a really tall guy to help them put some up a little higher. Know anyone???

We have some people who go nuts with decorations too. Perhaps we should have a contest to see who can come up with the craziest pic. Hmmmm.

guinnessgirl said...

Oh my gosh, R, that's hilarious! I'm surprised nobody has commented on the "ghoul waiter". Ha. And seriously, WTF IS up with decorating for Halloween and Easter but not for Christmas? I think you should leave an anonymous note in their mailbox asking them to please decorate for Groundhog Day or some other random one.

jes said...

I can access your website! Except not the pictures. All pictures are blocked. So I have to use my imagination, which, frankly, is quite amusing.


stefanie said...

My ex-boyfriend has a neighbor who goes all out beyond belief with their Christmas decorations. Lights everywhere (not just on the trim of the house, but on every side and every tree as well), lighted figurines and reindeer in the yard, colored garland shapes tacked to the exterior walls, and a Countdown to Christmas sign on which they change the number of days every day.

I'm pretty sure you could see that damn house from space in December.

For Halloween and Easter, though? Nothing.

Galoot said...

There is a street in our city which has four houses in a row, all duded up for Christmas.

A lot of traffic in December!

Nice blog descriptions by the way.

-R- said...

Sorry, guys, I did not get a picture this morning. I will try again tomorrow!

Yez, you are the pot calling the kettle black with your stalkery grocery store and gas station pictures. And the house does look bigger, now that I think about it. =)

Jenny, that would be so funny if you are right. I don't think they collect food at Easter though. Their Halloween collections probably last them all year.

Carmen, I had a friend in high school who lived next door to a house with a statue of a really big dog in their yard. It was weird. I don't think they dressed it up for holidays though.

3carnations, it bothers me, but it would bother me less if the lights were less visible because they were along the edge of the roof. The lights totally stand out when they are strung around the middle of the house!

Lawyerish, you don't have any crazy neighbors in NY?

Preppy, I have threatened to send over a tall person in the middle of the night to "help" these people take down their lights. And I think the contest is a good idea. I will crush you! (I am starting the trash talking already. It is never too early for trash talking.)

GG, H's theory is that each year they spend money to buy decorations for one more holiday. So maybe this year it will be Groundhogs Day. I hope!

Jes, yay! For the picture of the Halloween decorations, just picture a lot of black because I took the picture at night.

Stefanie, we don't have any people who go all out for Christmas near me. It is ok because I don't feel the need to attract UFOs, but I am surprised because the neighbors do so many other crazy things.

Galoot, you should join the contest with me and Preppy. Although you two may have to do a team entry. In the neighborhood where I grew up, everyone used to hire landscaping companies to do elaborate Christmas decorations for them. It was pretty ridiculous, but fun.

Christine said...

Hmm...No Christmas? weird.

BUT, I think that is a fantastic idea for food collections.

Christine said...

Also: On the house where I grew up, we had a balcony around the second floor that my mom strung up one year for Christmas, but we never took them down. However, we never lit them outside of Christmas. Probably not much better, but maybe slightly.

Yez said...

Touché! :-D The rearview mirrors crack me up. I'm just envisioning you sitting there with cold coffee, stale donuts, a lap robe, and occasional cellphone vibrations when H calls from HQ (anxious to resume his Abraxis sales pitch, no doubt).

PreppyGirl said...

Bring it! - Word.

-R- said...

Christine, I think the food donations idea is good too. The lights on the balcony don't bother me too much because at least they weren't around the middle of your house!

Yez, you are right - those pictures look like they are from a stakeout.

Preppy, word.

-R- said...

I got some great pictures of The Holiday House this morning! I won't be able to post them until tonight, but they will be worth the wait.

LC said...

Maybe they don't spend Christmas at their house?

Here in Hellville where I live, they have this weird contest of who has the most decorated house during Christmas time. It gets a prize and everything, they even put a map up in the paper of the 'Houses worth of giving a visit' with their addresses and stuff.

It's all very stalky.

-R- said...

LC, I think they do the same thing with houses here for Christmas. I have never gone to see any of them yet. I don't know if any could compare to the Holiday House.

shpprgrl said...

Maybe somebody stole ALL of their Christmas decor and they haven't replaced it yet? Thanks for sharing! :)

schneids said...

i think you should also confess to the rest of your blog readers that you have been tempted to take down their christmas wreath in the middle of the night....