Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Freaking Geniuses

Stories I Already Told In the Comment Sections of Other People's Blogs Because I Cannot Make Myself Shut Up Sometimes:

1. I actually drew a cartoon to illustrate this story, but my scanner won't scan it. Aargh. This is a story from Stefanie's comment section.

When I was in the fifth grade, I decided to play kickball at recess one day. Why? I am not sure. I am horribly coordinated and slow (a very sporty combination).

It was my turn to kick and the pitcher rolled the ball to me. I kicked it as hard as I could. The ball flew through the air... for about two feet.

"No bunting!" yelled the first baseman.

"That's cheating!" yelled the pitcher.

"No bunting! No bunting!" chorused the other team.

The sad part is that I had kicked the ball as hard as I could. To save face, I said, "Sorry! I didn't know there was no bunting!" I had to kick again, and it didn't go any farther. The pitcher looked at me with such pity. And I have never played kickball since.

2. And now a story from Laurie's comment section.

H and I went to DSW or Famous Footwear or something along those lines to buy shoes. When we got to the cash register, the cashier asked us for our zip code.

I said my work zip code. "Wait, I don't think that's right," I said. "H, what's our zip code?"

H said a 5 digit sequence that was most definitely not our zip code.

"That's not right," I said. I suggested a different zip code.

"Oh my God," H said. "I can't believe you don't know our zip code!"

"You don't know our zip code either," I told him.

"Yes, I do! It's xxxxx!" H insisted.

"That is not our zip code!" I said.

The cashier, a high school girl, looked at us like we were the most annoying customers she had ever seen. Do people not normally get into fights about their zip codes at the shoe store?

After further argument, we just gave the cashier 5 random numbers, paid for our shoes, and finally left the store.

When we got to the car, H checked his driver's license, and we discovered that we were both wrong about our zip code. We are freaking geniuses.


Lawyerish said...

I feel like "Sorry, I didn't know there was no bunting!" is a phrase that we can all put to use in our daily life.

I always hated kickball. One time, a girl in our class kicked the ball and it busted open, and she fell flat on her back. It was rather hilarious. But I still hated kickball.

stefanie said...

I so wish I could see that cartoon. :-)

princess slea said...

i feel your childhood pain. i was not sporty by any stretch of the imagination.
my source of pain and torment? the climbing rope!
i could have jumped higher than I could climb. it was pretty pathetic.

i hate to say that I did laugh when i read it though because i can easily picture that happening.
smart kids shouldn't be subjected to PE with the athletic kids. Afterall, we didn't get to publicly see the jock kids' wrong answers on tests. humiliating.

L Sass said...

I hate it when cashiers ask for my zip code! In the last five years, I have lived in Minnesota, Washington state, and NYC. I'm forever giving a random zip code from a previous address.

PreppyGirl said...

I suppose it never occurred to either one of you to check the zip code on your driver's license while you were in the store. Hmmm.

Kickball rocks! but dodge ball? - Now that's something I truly hated.

guinness girl said...

Ha! Wilman and I had almost the same thing happen to us - but it was over our phone number, not zip code. Heh.

lizgwiz said...

I used to work a customer service job where I had to ask people for their phone numbers constantly, and you'd be amazed how many people said "I don't know...I never call myself." Hee. Numbers, too many numbers in our lives!

The happiest day of my life was when I found out in 7th grade that I could get out of PE by taking both band and choir. Done and done!

jes said...

i like to draw my cartoons in Microsoft Paint or Adobe PhotoShop.

Except they're less like cartoons and more like "did a 6-year-old draw that?"

Stephanie said...

I was told it was "de-lurking" week.

So, delurking now!!

As a professional commenter, I share your affliction. Really.

But I *heart* your comments.

Oh, I actually did more than comment at Mama Drama today. Who knew they were so brave!!

metalia said...

I absolutely LOVE the "no bunting" story; would I have done the exact same thing? Yes. Yes, indeed.

-R- said...

Lawyerish, I dare you to use that phrase in a conference call. And, oh, that poor girl!

Stefanie, it is not actually all that great, but I was pretty proud of it because I am lame.

Princess, I could not climb the rope either. You are right; they should have had a separate PE class for us wimps.

L sass, H and I have moved a lot too, so it is a pain. Plus, we are just not that bright, apparently.

Preppy, I never would have thought of it, and checking the license didn't occur to H until we were in the car!

GG, I am bad at phone numbers too. I call a number that is one off from H's cell phone all the time. Luckily it is a disconnected number so I'm not annoying anyone (except myself).

Liz, I am glad that I am not alone. And alas, I was not in the band. I think the band people may have gotten out of gym at my school too, but I'm not sure.

Jes, I enjoy your cartoons. This one was pretty complicated, and it was too much for my Paint skills.

Stephanie, thanks for de-lurking! I enjoy your comments as well.

Metalia, I am glad to have a fellow liar here with me.

Mama Drama Jenny said...

"No bunting!"

I wouldn't laugh except that the same thing happened to me.