Sunday, January 21, 2007

I Could Not Make This Up If I Tried

In law school, I lived on the top floor of a small apartment building. It was a great apartment, especially because most of my neighbors were quiet medical students.

At first, the person who lived right below me was a female med student. I never heard her except on Saturday afternoons. She would clean with the music cranked up, and she would sing along at the top of her lungs. She was not a great singer, but I liked her taste in music, and the singing didn't bother me.

Before my last year of law school, the loud singer moved out, and a male med student moved in. I occasionally saw him when we were both getting the mail at the same time, but that was the only way I even knew someone was living in the apartment. Then second semester, I got a new schedule and didn't have class until 10:30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. One Tuesday morning, I woke at about 9 am to the sounds of really loud sex. There was moaning, there was yelling, there was headboard banging... for about 5 seconds. It was about time for me to get up anyway, so I got out of bed and started picking out what I was going to wear that day. And then I heard another sound coming from downstairs. The sound of banjo music.

Some people like to cuddle after sex. Some people like to take a shower. My neighbor liked to play the banjo.

(I do not think it was a recording because the banjo player kept messing up.)

I was not treated to the banjo sex every Tuesday, thank goodness, but it did occur a few more times. The girlfriend must have moved in with the med student because I saw her one time when I was getting the mail, and she also had a key to the mailbox. It was a girl with whom I had gone to high school. I pretended I had no idea who she was because all I could think was "banjo sex." I was very worried I would have one of those moments where you try so hard not to say something that you blurt it out. "Hey, Valerie. Good to see you again. So how's the banjo sex going? I mean... Gotta go!" followed by me sprinting up to my apartment.


Lawyerish said...


Is it me, or would you break up with a guy who insisted on playing the banjo immediately after sex? I think I would find it off-putting, at best.

Was there a particular tune he liked?

stefanie said...

Personally, I prefer my banjo serenades to come before sex, rather than after.

Just kidding, really. It has never occured to me to consider my preferences on something like this.

L Sass said...

I once dated a guy who would play the guitar for me when I slept over (we weren't having sex, though... I guess you have to put out to be upgraded to the banjo!)

lizgwiz said...

It wasn't the theme music from "Deliverance" or something, was it? 'Cause that would be really disturbing. Maybe he considered foreplay to be saying "you got a purty mouth." Okay, I just icked myself out. And I actually LIKE the banjo.

Em said...

Hmm. Isn't there something so magical and sexy about a banjo? I totally dig it.

*said by the goofy accountant who LOVES LOVES Journey and all things nerdy*

metalia said...

I second Lawyerish's question; WHAT on earth did he play?!

jonniker said...

Could you imagine having sex with someone, only to find them playing the banjo after you were finished? What would you do? Seriously, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

Paisley said...

My neighbor guy roared loud like a bear when he reached that special moment. Quite annoying at all hours of the evening. It stopped after I banged on my wall at 3 am one night.

They were weird, unwashed and hairy.

Ick. I'd prefer the banjo. Then, I'd pretend he was Matthew McConaughey and all things would be ok again.


-R- said...

Lawyerish, I think they were living together at this point. Maybe he waited to break out the banjo until she was moved in!

Stefanie, I am not sure that I have a preference either. I think before.

L Sass, do you think there is a hierarchy? First, guitar. Second, banjo. Third, sousaphone.

Liz, ew. No.

Em, I like the banjo, but not from my neighbor post-sex.

Metalia, it was a song that I didn't recognize. I am not sure if it was the same song every time.

Jonniker, I would laugh. And then tell people on my blog.

Paisley, bear noises? Scary!!!!

PreppyGirl said...

Do I hear a G-string joke in there somewhere?

chirky said...

The question is: did he play the banjo, or was it her?