She's a Maine-iac, Maine-iac (On the Floor)

Breaking news: You guys, tomorrow (Friday) it is going to be June. June! How did this happen? I am excited about summer, but I have no idea what happened to the first five months of the year!

It is going to be a busy summer. I am going to Philadelphia, there are lots of office parties, my best friend (Double G) is coming to visit, H's brother is getting married, and, hopefully, we will be going to Maine for our anniversary.

I am so excited about Maine. My grandfather built a beach house in Maine. By himself. I should note that the term "beach house" is used loosely, as the house is not on the beach, but it is only about a 5 minute walk to a rocky bay, and it is about a 20 minute walk to the sandy beach. My grandfather died when I was in third grade and left the house to my mom, her sister, and her brother. My mom was a stay-at-home mom, so we could go drive up to Maine and spend a few weeks in a row, and my dad would come up for weekends. We would spend a lot of time there every summer. There was no tv (and no air conditioning), so we would take long walks, swim in the ocean until our lips turned blue, eat salt water taffy and lobster (not at the same time), pick blackberries, and swing on the tire swing. Our neighbor was a 90 year old man named Harry who mowed his own (huge lawn) and was the quintessential Maine-iac. He hated "newcomers" but loved us because he had known my grandfather.

The beach house where my grandfather had stayed as a little kid was only a 5 minute walk from our beach house. It was one room. For 9 kids (8 boys and 1 girl) and 2 parents. No running water. I can't even imagine. At the time I saw the old beach house, it was basically a shack that was falling apart. My grandfather and his brothers obviously had good memories of staying there because most of them ended up buying beach houses in the same town, and we would go see my mom's uncles when we stayed in Maine.

My mom's uncles were characters. They all had thick New Hampshire accents, and so did my mom when she talked with them. They all spoke like they were living on boats and called the bathroom "the head" and gave us directions like, "Turn starboard onto Oak Street."

We had to sell my grandfather's house because we moved to the Midwest, and it just didn't make sense to own a house in Maine. I haven't been back to the town where my grandfather had a cabin in probably 14 years, and I am kind of scared to go back. I haven't even been to Maine for 10 years. To me, Maine is my grandpa, my mom's side of the family, my family having fun together. I am scared that it won't live up to the pictures in my mind. I want to keep my memories the way they are. But I also want to see it and experience it again. It will be so different and weird to stay in a hotel though. I don't know. I am anxious and excited.

*****

To answer Jes's question in the comments of my last post, I think the best part of our trip to Chicago was the architectural boat tour, which you can buy tickets for online here. My friend who used to live in Chicago said he always took out of town guests on this tour, and my friend who currently lives in Chicago said it is the best tour in Chicago. It's only 90 minutes, and you get to see a lot of downtown. It is interesting, and my Dallas friends, H, and I all enjoyed it.

The second best part was drinking a gin and tonic. I had never had one before because I thought it sounded gross. But it wasn't. It was fabulous! It is my new go-to drink. In fact, I wish I had one right now.

Did I Mention Dunkin' Donuts? Mmmmmm.

A summary of our trip: we ate and drank and had fun.

Our trip in list form:
friends from Dallas
H's sister (who is my age) from Austin
Italian food at a tiny local hole-in-the-wall place
beer
Sears Tower
architectural boat tour
ponchos
Gino's East deep dish pizza
Museum of Science and Industry (not really worth seeing unless you have kids)
sushi with my friend from high school
beer
White Sox game
strawberry margaritas and kosher hot dogs
Lake Michigan
the bean statue thingy
Grant Park and Memorial Park
Dunkin' Donuts
Harry Caray's bar
gin and tonic
Weber Grill and sangria

Our trip in (more) pictures:




This is a police officer on a SEGWAY. How do you take someone seriously when they are cruisin' around on a Segway? The answer is: you don't. But it is pretty fabulous, you must admit.

PS The fact that he looked like Carl from Family Matters did not help his street cred at all.

A Quick Preview

[H and I wearing ponchos]



We had a fantastic weekend in Chicago. More to follow, including actual words and stuff.

Happy Memorial Day weekend!



What does a chipmunk have to do with Memorial Day? Good question. The answer is nothing. But it is cute.

If You're Blue and You Don't Know Where to Go To

For Memorial Day, H and I are flying to Chicago to spend time with one of my best friends and her husband, who will both be flying in from Dallas. I haven't ever had the chance to get to know my friend's husband very well because they live so far away. I am hoping this weekend will be a good chance for us to all hang out without a lot of stress or other distractions. The good thing is that even if H or I don't fall in friend-love with the husband, it is only one weekend, and I can plan some girly trips with my friend from then on. We are also going to spend at least Saturday night hanging out with my friend from high school who lives in Chicago, so I am really looking forward to this trip. I can't believe we leave on Friday though. It still feels a long way away.

Normally I don't like to talk about upcoming trips, but I know that Stefanie will be out of town for Memorial Day, so she will be unable to rob my house. This time.

After we get back from Chicago, I will be home for a week, and then I leave again, this time for a work-related trip. I will be in Philadelphia for a few days doing my exciting work stuff, and then H is going to fly up, and we'll spend the weekend cruisin' the city. I'm not sure what that means. Hopefully we will be able to meet up with Guinness Girl and Christine at some point.

In an unrelated conclusion, what is our opinion on bermuda shorts? I thought I was against them, but I tried on a pair today, and I think they would have been cute if (1) they fit better at the waist, and (2) they were either an inch shorter or an inch longer because they hit right in the middle of my knee. So I think I may not be against the bermuda short in general. What do you think? Also, do you wear leggings? If so, then I can probably disregard your opinion on bermuda shorts because I just cannot do leggings.

The Mystery Griddle

H called me today and asked if I had already sent a wedding present to his cousin.

I told him that I had not, as her wedding is not for another month.

H asked if I was sure.

I told him that I was sure I had not purchased a present yet.

H asked if I was really sure.

I told him that I was sure and that I would remember if I had already bought a present.

H asked, "You didn't send her the griddle we got for our wedding, did you?" He sounded disgusted that I had sent his cousin a griddle that I had found around our house.

And then I realized what had happened. "We got a thank you note from her, didn't we?" I asked.

We had. I am guessing that the cousin had a shower in H's hometown, and H's mom got a gift and signed my name (along with H's sisters' names) on the card.

So apparently I gave H's cousin a griddle as a shower gift for a shower that I never even knew had happened. I hope she liked it.

*****

FYI, this doesn't bother me at all. I just feel bad that the poor cousin spent the time writing me a thank you note when I didn't even know I had given her a gift.

Why Can't We Be Friends?

Only six weeks until my birthday! I will be the big 2-8. What what. [That was in my gangsta voice.] For my birthday, I have asked two things of H. First, I would like my present to be an iPod Shuffle. Second, H will go with me to see the movie coming out that week starring my boyfriend (John Krasinski) and Mandy Moore. I told H the Shuffle and the movie are the only things I want, but he said that it is not enough and he must get me more presents. So I told him he could download some songs onto the iPod. Still not enough for him. It is my birthday [in six weeks] and that's all I want, so that is all I should get! Don't I get to choose how much I get for my birthday? Apparently, if history is any indication, the answer is no. H and I always set budgets for birthday and Christmas presents. Then H always goes at least $100 over the limit. Then I get mad. Then H gets mad at me for getting mad at him when he was trying to do something nice. Then I get mad at H for getting mad at me for getting mad at him and for thinking that busting our budget is nice. It is a bad cycle. Maybe this is the birthday we can break the cycle! I have high hopes.

Speaking of my boyfriend, I only saw the last ten minutes of the season finale of The Office! I didn't worry about it at the time because we taped it, but it turned out that our connection was defective and we taped an hour worth of black screen! Noooo!

Life Lessons

When I didn't write anything yesterday, were you thinking I had traveled to Texas to go on a church trip with my new friends? Well, much to dismay, they have not yet invited me on their trip, so I guess I will stay in Minnesota for now.

A post Jonniker wrote the other day, plus some of your comments on my last post, made me think of some weird phone calls I have received.

When I moved to Minnesota, I got a new cell phone and a new phone number. One Sunday, I got a phone call from a woman I didn't know. "YOU STOLE MY HUSBAND'S PHONE!" she yelled. I asked her what phone number she was trying to reach. She said her husband's phone number was XXX-XXX-XXXXZ. I tried to explain to her that phone numbers only have 10 digits and that the number she had just said was not a real phone number. She screamed, "I KNOW MY HUSBAND'S PHONE NUMBER! IT IS XXX-XXX-XXXXZ, AND YOU HAVE HIS PHONE!" Then she threatened to beat me up. I don't know about you, but I do not care for psycho idiots yelling at me. H took the phone from me and started screaming back at this lady. H hung up. The lady called back at least 10 times. So I called the police. An officer came to our house to take the report. Meanwhile, psycho idiot lady who doesn't know how phone numbers work kept calling me. The officer called psycho idiot lady from his Official Police Phone and tried to explain to her how phone numbers work. Eventually, he just said, "I'm sorry, ma'am, but this woman does not have your phone, and if you keep calling her, I will arrest you for harassing her." And she never called again. Yay!

The lessons of the day are (1) people are stupid, and (2) I am not afraid to call the police. But you already knew that.

My New Best Friend

For the past few days, I have been getting e-mail from some lovely ladies in Texas who seem to be planning some kind of church trip. The e-mail address they have been writing to is not one I generally use: it is -R-.maidenname@toughluck.com. So at first, I just thought the messages were some kind of weird spam. But there are several ladies copied on each message, and they have been writing back and forth, making plans about where to meet and how to organize this trip, which I believe starts this week. I was worried that poor -R- MaidenName was going to be left out! She is probably sitting at home, checking her e-mail every 5 minutes, wondering why no one is sending her the details of the church trip. How will she know where to meet everyone? I am probably a little too invested in the life of -R- MaidenName. Maybe she is at home thanking her lucky stars that the weird ladies at her church have forgotten all about the trip and are leaving her alone. But I am worried about my new friend -R- MaidenName, so today I wrote back to the lovely Texas ladies. Oh yes, I did.

"FYI, you have the wrong e-mail address for -R-. I am a different -R- who has no idea what you are all talking about. Good luck on your trip."

I kind of hope that they will keep writing me so that I can find out whether they ever got the right address for -R- MaidenName.

Update: I received two messages from my lovely ladies this morning. They both apologized for having the wrong e-mail address. Should I write back and say, "Not a problem. I hope you have a great trip and are able to get in touch with -R- MaidenName. If you can't get in touch with -R- MaidenName and want me to come with you instead, just let me know"?

Doctor Who

I just deleted the paragraph I wrote about I feel like my head may explode because really, that is a pathetic excuse for a blog entry. Sinus pressure is just not that interesting. But wait...


I have an idea!

I will post random pictures of my trip to The Little Apple.


On the way to Apple Town, we had to wait for not one...

But TWO trains. At the same time. This was not a good omen.


But we made it there safe and sound, and here is a random picture of a building on my sister's campus.


My sister graduated and walked safely across the stage without falling down or tripping. H had to squeeze through the narrow aisle in the middle of the (two hour!) graduation ceremony so that he could use the restroom. When he came back, he sat on the aisle so that he didn't have to squish past 50 people again. And then all the graduates had to walk right past H as they exited. I said to my mom, "Maybe H will give [my sister] a high five!" And then he did! Here is a re-enactment.

Note: I do not know who that creepy-looking guy in the background is.

My sister had lots of velvet stripes and a fancy magna cum laude cord on her robe.


She is a doctor now. My sister is now Dr. -R's Little Sister-. Doctor! My little sister! Doctor! Aaaaa!

Rabbit Fur [and] Coat

As I was getting ready for work Tuesday morning, H shouted, "Come downstairs! And bring the camera!" So I obliged. I was not sure what to expect. One time some middle-aged people parked their car by our house and then proceeded to totally make out in the car. I hoped it was not something along those lines.

I got to the kitchen, where H was staring out the window, and saw this.




We always used to have bunnies in our yard growing up, and they would drive my mom crazy by eating all her flowers, no matter what she tried to deter them. We don't really have any flowers, so I didn't mind seeing the bunny, though I was not quite as excited as H.


Since I have turned this into a fashion blog, what do you think of this jacket?

The only reason I own the jacket is that one day last summer when I was wearing a short sleeved cardigan and capris at work, I found out that I had to go to a board meeting in 30 minutes. So I speedwalked to Ann Taylor (which is very close to my office) and bought the only jacket in my size in the clearance section that kind of matched my capris. I had the salesperson cut off the tags, and I wore it back to the office, with 10 minutes to spare. I still wear the jacket from time to time because I need to get my $50 worth.

I think it is kind of an old lady jacket, but I get compliments on it whenever I wear it. What do you think? I am not fishing for compliments here. If it is ugly, please tell me.


I am behind on my blog commenting, but I will try to catch up tomorrow before I go out of town. In case you were worried.

Tuesday Night Confessions

1. I rarely, if ever, tip the people from whom I order my coffee.

2. My coworker leaves $1 all the time, so I feel like she makes up for me.

3. Except I don't feel bad for not tipping the coffee people.

4. And the guy I regularly go to always gives me 10 cents off as though I got the trivia question right, even though I never even guess the trivia question.

5. Before you ask, no, the coffee guy does not have a crush on me.

6. I know this because I have met the coffee guy's boyfriend.

7. My nemesis and I are on friendly terms now. He says hi to me all the time.

8. Don't worry, though. I have a new nemesis.

9. I am glad that Shia Le Bouef is doing well because I used to watch the Disney show he was on, which was called Even Stevens.

10. Yes, I used to watch the Disney Channel when I was in law school. And I liked it.

11. I always think that this will be the morning I get up when my alarm goes off, but then I always hit the snooze button.

12. But I am really, truly convinced that it will be different tomorrow morning.

13. I have disliked every job I have ever had.

14. I think I was meant to be a lady of leisure.

15. Unfortunately, H thinks he was meant to be a gentleman of leisure.

16. Our house is really messy.

17. I am probably responsible for half the mess, but I blame H.

18. He blames me, so it works out ok.

19. I don't always tell the whole story about things I write on my blog.

20. It is just easier than explaining the whole back story sometimes.

They Might Be Giants

My sister's graduation is this weekend, so I have my outfit all planned out.




Dress from Banana Republic and purse from Kohl's (purchased on sale this weekend for either $12 or $18, I forget). In the first picture, my shoes are from Target (purchased on sale this weekend for $16), and in the second picture, my shoes are from Steve Madden (purchased on sale in January). Dorky facial expressions not for sale.

I am going to go with the gold Target sandals because I think the brown shoes will give me blisters if I wear them for long walking excursions without pantyhose.

I think I look super short in these pictures, which is good. I need to get used to it because I am shorter than everyone in my family, so our family pictures at graduation will look something like this (photos from my sister's white coat ceremony last year):





The yellow faces are kind of freaking me out. The two tall guys are my cousin and uncle, and the short guy is my dad. The gal with the white coat is obviously my sister, and the other woman is my mom. H will be in the pictures this year (he didn't attend the white coat ceremony), and he is even taller than my uncle. Also, my other cousin may show up, and she is at least six feet tall too. My sister and I are the only cousins (1) under 5'10" and (2) with brown hair. All the other cousins are svelte, blonde, Nordic giants. I feel like Laurel would fit right in. Uff da!

Snippets of Wonderfulness

At about 2 pm today, I noticed that I had a tiny piece of lint stuck to my calf INSIDE of my pantyhose. I have no idea what it was or how it got there. I chose to assume that the lint had not been there all day or that no one had noticed it. And then at 5:30, I noticed that I had a huge stripe of deodorant on the bottom of my shirt. I was wearing a cardigan type sweater over the shirt, so maybe no one noticed, or maybe everyone just pretended not to notice because they felt bad for me since I was obviously having some wardrobe issues today. At least I didn't meet with any clients today. Gah.

*****

I have developed a theory that a "person" I know may actually be a robot. If my life were the horrible 1980s tv show Small Wonder, this person would be Vicki, the robot that a family was trying to pass off as a person for some weird 1980s reason. In this scenario, I would be Harriet (scroll down), the girl with scary pigtails who was always trying to prove that Vicki was a robot. My whole robot theory was based on the facts that "Vicki" did not understand jokes and has had the exact same hair length for about 6 months. This week, "Vicki" told a joke AND got a haircut. I guess I was wrong. Or maybe that is what the robot wants me to think! I am confused.

*****

H has been getting up early in the morning and watching Saved By the Bell. Then he usually comes upstairs as I am getting ready and summarizes the episode(s) he saw that morning. What is most sad about this story is that I actually remember most of the episodes. H is so cute though. The other morning he came upstairs and said, "Kelly NEVER should have got a job at The Max!"