Happy Birthday

I was right: I own five books by Binchy. They are Scarlet Feather, Tara Road, Circle of Friends, Light a Penny Candle, and Echoes. So good! Oh, and I own a collection of short stories by multiple authors, including Binchy. I also own three books by Sarah Vowell and two books by Madeleine L'Engle. My collection is not what I would call varied. But I don't care because I love my books.

Tomorrow (May 1st) is the birthday of one of my best friends, Double G. I am tempted to post embarrassing pictures of her to celebrate, but I am afraid of the retaliation that could result, so I will restrain myself. I have known Double G since we were freshmen in high school, so we have known each other for almost 14 years. I am sure if that calculation is incorrect she will let me know because she is a math genius. (Not like that is a hard calculation, but she really is brilliant at math.) Of those approximately 14 years, Double G and I only lived in the same town for the first three. After that, she went to college about an hour away, and then when I graduated from high school a year later, I moved about 12 hours away. Then Double G moved to Wisconsin, and I moved to Nebraska, and then Double G moved to California, and I moved to Minnesota. Yet Double G has always been there for me, and I hope she knows that I have always been there for her and will continue to be.

When Double G graduated from high school, I spent a lot of time during her senior year writing a book about our times together. In order to put the book together, I had to call Double G from time to time and ask her strange questions like, "When did we take that trip to Sioux Falls?" and "What was the name of the guy you had a crush on sophomore year?" (Ok, I didn't really have to ask that second question because I know the answer: D@n Rez@c.) Despite the fact that Double G is much smarter than me, she did not suspect anything based on my odd questions. But now, every time I call her to ask her about random facts, she is very suspicious. I suppose her suspicion is reasonable, but it is funny. The thing is that Double G probably knows more about me and my life than anyone else, so she is the only one will know weird things like the name of the guy in high school who tried to give himself the nickname The Italian Stallion.

I don't know why we have been able to be such good friends. It doesn't make sense to me because of the three years that we lived near each other, we were really only good friends for two of those years, and after that we have always been so freaking far apart. But for some reason, something kept us together. And I am glad to have Double G in my life.

She's the pope of chili-town.

The Pope of Chili-town

I had a fantastic weekend, and I am feeling much happier. I have not been enjoying my job at all for the past few weeks, but I think I am over that feeling for now. I think one of the things that really helped was a happy hour with a group of coworkers (postponed from Wednesday) that reminded me that I work with a lot of fun, enjoyable people.

But enough about that. What made my weekend so enjoyable was that I did nothing and didn't let myself feel guilty about it. H went to a NFL draft party with his high school friends that lasted from 11 am Saturday until 7 am Sunday. (The party was about an hour from our house, and H had been drinking, so he just stayed the night.) Since I had the house to myself, I sat on the back porch for a few hours and read my Maeve Binchy book. Then I did a tiny bit of yard work and came inside to watch a marathon of The Ultimate Coyote Ugly Search. Today, we went to Panera Bread for lunch, bought groceries at Target, did some yard work, and did just a little bit of work for my job. I am slightly sunburned and well-rested, which makes me happy.

You may have noticed in the paragraph above that I call the wooden platform attached to the back of our house "the back porch," which annoys H to no end. H calls it the deck and insists that I call it the deck as well. This from a man who calls both the noon meal and the evening meal "lunch." H also used the phrase, "He thinks he's the pope of Chili-town," at least 50 times today, which is from The Simpsons episode in which Homer tastes everyone's chili at the chili cook-off. Thus, I think I am allowed to use the term "porch" if I want.

You may have also noticed my reference to Maeve Binchy. I am mentioned before that I do not own many books. I probably own less than 20 books because I got rid of most during the course of several moves. Of the 20 books I own, I think 5 are by Maeve Binchy because they are books that I can read (and have read) multiple times. H has asked who I love more, Binchy or him. The answer is H, but it's a tough question.

I feel like I haven't been posting much, and what I have posted has pretty much been a "let's slap something up there just because I am tired of having that old lame post at the top of my page" kind of deal. And yet, here I go again! It has been a bad week, and I have kind of been hating everyone. I don't like to write when I am in such a bad mood because (1) it is boring, (2) I don't like to sound so negative, even though I am, and (3) I don't write about work. But I think this blog makes me seem like I am happy and goofy all the time, when I am really quite moody in real life. I don't know. Maybe you don't think my blog seems that chipper. H doesn't. He is still annoyed that a few months ago I wrote that I had been thinking about what would happen if he died.

Anyway, have you been wondering why my links are in the order that they are over in the sidebar? The first three (Grumpy Frump, Marmite Breath, and Stefanie Says) are listed in the order that I met them. Then come Swimming With Sharks and Red Red Whine because I am going to meet them next. Everyone else is in alphabetical order, but I will probably switch everyone around from time to time because I am just like that.

Gotta go. Will explain later.

Commute!

It is 11 p.m., and I just finished work, so it is not that I am ignoring you, it is just that I would feel bad saying to H, "Sorry I didn't talk to you all day, but I had to write something on my blog."

Is there a blog award for longest sentence because I think I would be in the running?

And I have to go in to work early tomorrow, but that is because I am leaving early-ish to go to a happy hour with some friends that I do not see often.

Also, I don't have much to say except "work work work work work."

Ok, why am I writing all this? I shall end with a request. Please recommend a book I should read on my (bus) commute or a song I should download on H's iPod to listen to on my commute. The word "commute" is starting to freak me out. The more I type "commute" the weirder "commute" looks. Aaa!

Cool Whip Makes Everything Better

We had a tiny visitor at our house today. My friend and her 8-month-old daughter came over to play. We ripped up an old magazine, crawled around the living room and kitchen, and played with the Nintendo Wii. I will let you guess which activities the 8-month-old instigated and which activity caused her to start screaming because her mom was busy swinging a Wii-mote around. Apparently I am not an adequate substitute attention-giver. H and I also discovered that our house is really not baby-proofed for a crawler, not that we thought it was. No injuries occurred though, so really, what more could you want.

H and I also went to the Mall of America today, and I bought this dress (although mine is a petite size since I am so freaking short) for my brother-in-law's wedding this summer. It is so cute, and I can wear it to work too. I am pathetically pleased by this purchase.

I have been in a bad mood for the past few weeks, but H has been pitching in by doing a lot of cleaning around the house and being all-around hilarious. There are some people I've met who just seem so serious all the time; I don't know how they survive. I need at least a little laughter every day to get by. [/end lame serious paragraph about having a sense of humor]

Do you know what else helps me get by? Freaking Samoa flavored ice cream. How did I live without it? Also, coffee with Cool Whip instead of cream and sugar. Seriously. It is terrific.

Money (That's What I Want)

One Smart Cookie did a list of the 5 "luxuries" that she would spend money on if she had lots of extra money lying around and the five things that aren't important enough for her to spend money a lot of money on, even if she could afford it. So that's not exactly how she worded it, but I am tired, and that is my explanation. Following in her footsteps, here are my lists.

The Five Things Worth My Money:

1. Expensive shoes. I would go for quality over quantity, although I do have limits. There is a blog about purses that I look at from time to time when I get really bored, and the author writes things like, "This purse is only $650, so you can take it to the beach and get sand in it, and you won't even care." Ummm... THEN YOU ARE CRAZY. So the point is, I would not spend $650 on shoes and then say, "Yay, I can run through mud puddles in these since they are only $650," but the occasional pair of designer shoes might be fun.

2. Car. I would probably get a BMW or a Lexus, which is exactly what One Smart Cookie would not spend her money on, but I think it is worth it for the extra control and comfort.

3. Fancy vacations. I would go to Australia first, I think, and then London and Italy. And Canada - I have never been to Canada!

4. Stylist. I feel like having a stylist would rule. I never know if my outfit is ok or not.

5. Swimming pool. I would love to have a swimming pool in my backyard. Not very practical in Minnesota though. Maybe I could get an indoor swimming pool. Yes! That is my new plan.


The Five Things Not Worth My Money:

1. Makeup. I am just not that into makeup. And I am just as happy with Cover Girl lip gloss as I think I would be with the same thing by Chanel.

2. Private jet. Riding in small planes frighten me.

3. Manicures. The paint always chips off in two days anyway.

4. Books. I love the library!

5. Wine. I am with One Smart Cookie on this one. I am no wine connoisseur, and 10 bottles of $20 wine sounds just as good as 1 bottle of $200 wine.

Way Back Machine

A Summary of the Last Thirteen Months, as Told By the First Line of the First Entry in My Blog For the Last Thirteen Months

Alternate Title: I Have Nothing New To Write Today

1. March 2006: When I was in college, I decided to go running with some girls from my dorm.

2. April 2006: Some pictures from the Sweet Sixteen last week: Boston College v. Villanova - At this point, both teams are out of the tournament, but I just finally got these pictures on Flickr.

3. May 2006: I was stressed out today.

4. June 2006: I have been home alone since 5:30 tonight.

5. July 2006: The wedding was really fun, our touristy travels through DC were good, my birthday was rainy but enjoyable.

6. August 2006: 1. I am happy when it rains because, "The lawn really needs a good rain."

7. September 2006: It was just a little rainy...

8. October 2006: It is about 2:30 pm.

9. November 2006: So lots of people are signing up for this Post Every Day in November Event.

10. December 2006: People at my office rarely, if ever, take sick days.

11. January 2007: The holiday season is finally over for H and me.

12. February 2007: My version of a Venn diagram.

13. March 2007: Here it is, your moment of zen.

Note to self: Work on topic sentences.

You Love When I Post Random Things

I had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day today. Ugh. Also, I am trying out a new thing called not checking my blog e-mail or Google reader while at work. I did semi-ok today, but you may have noticed I gave in once this morning and read a few blogs and responded to Nat's comment on my own blog. But still. I did decently today. I will still be reading at night or before work, so do not be despondent if you do not see my usually early morning comment on your blog!

*****

I have been listening to my Ok Go cd for two weeks in a row now. Every day. I love it and cannot help it.

*****

You may have noticed that I have changed the layout of my blog tonight. Why? I just felt like it. It is still a work in progress, so don't judge me yet. Although it probably will look very boring for a while, and I may still switch to Wordpress. I haven't decided yet.

*****

I was hoping that I would just think of something clever and interesting to write about despite my pissed off mood, but that does not appear to be happening tonight. So I will steal the James Lipton questionnaire from Noelle, who coincidentally has the hardest blog name to spell ever. At least for me.

# 1. What is your favorite word?
Doodle. Also "soporific." Also "also."

# 2. What is your least favorite word?
Hackneyed.

# 3. What turns you on (creatively, spiritually or emotionally)?
Laughter.

# 4. What turns you off?
Violence.

# 5. What is your favorite curse word?
The only curse word I ever really say is fuck. And I said it a lot today. But I don't enjoy saying it. The curse-like words I actually enjoy using are "Freaking A!" and "Dagnabbit!"

# 6. What sound or noise do you love?
Children singing.

# 7. What sound or noise do you hate?
The sound of H picking skin off his fingers.

# 8. What profession, other than your own, would you like to attempt?
I think I would be an excellent HR director. Or bookstore owner. Or professional reader.

# 9. What profession would you not like to attempt?
Doctor or nurse.

# 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
If I arrive at the Pearly Gates, I would like to hear God performing "Rapper's Delight" by The Sugar Hill Gang for me.

Planning Ahead

Since I last posted, I have gone to a Twins game, worked, eaten some barbecue and also some Samoa (correct name: Caramel Delights) Girl Scout Cookie flavored ice cream, and worked some more. I also bought a red patent faux-leather headband. And now, sadly, you are all caught up with my life.

It has also been warm enough this weekend that I got to wear my new super cute Keds. So comfortable! So cute! Unfortunately, I didn't get much time to enjoy the nice weather. Can I tell you how excited I am about summer and hot weather? Very! I want to wear my Keds everyday, and take bike rides with H, and have barbecues at our house, and make sangria, and invite people over to play Bocce and badminton. What is your favorite thing about summer?

Go, Shortie! It's Your Birthday!

Due to so many of you volunteering your heights in my last post, I am going to make a little chart of my readers, from smallest to tallest. (I prefer "small" to "short," thought I'm not sure why.) I was going to do a complicated illustration here, but then I would have to deal with my scanner, and I am not in the mood. Also, I should probably warn you that I am listing you by your doctor-appointed heights, or else a height that I just made up for you because it seemed right. So here you go.

Nat 4'11"
Liz 4'11"
Abbersnail 5'1"
-R- 5'1.5" - BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Metalia 5'2"
Jen 5'2"
Sparkling Cipher 5'2"
Sognatrice 5'2"
Kim 5'2.5"
3carnations 5'2.5"
Em 5'3"
Grumpy Frump 5'3.75"
Paisley 5'4"
L Sass 5'4"
Claire 5'5"
Anniina 5'5"
Noelle 5'5.5"
Boozie 5'7"
Lizgwiz 5'8"
Stefanie 5'10"
Lawyerish 5'10"
Galoot 6'5"
H 6'5"

My only male readers are 6'5". Perhaps I intimidate shorter men with my astounding writing. I should note that Galoot probably did not even read the last post, let alone post a comment with his height, but I remember it because he is the same height as H. Stefanie also failed to volunteer her height, but I think that she is 5'10", and I didn't want Lawyerish to be all alone up there. Yes, that is how my brain works.

The average height of my female readers appears to be (from my rudimentary calculations) approximately 5'3.5"! Yay, shorties!

*****

Are you still awake after that fascinating display of lameness? Then I will reward you with a special treat.

The picture above is H doing a pose he likes to call the Florida Tilt. He did this pose for his drivers license photo, which he had until about two years ago. You should have seen the looks he got when he was carded. Most of the looks seemed to be along the lines of, "I can't believe the drivers license people let you do that horrible and weird pose for your freaking drivers license," although the look from teenage boys was more like, "That is so awesome! I am doing that for my next picture!" H took both types of looks as compliments. He was very proud of that picture. I was mortified.

Then H had to get his picture retaken when he renewed his drivers license, and the people at the DMV were much less sympathetic to the Florida Tilt. H was pissed. I was overjoyed.

Now the Florida Tilt lives on IN OUR WEDDING PICTURES. Only a few, but OH MY GOD. OUR WEDDING PICTURES.

I'm Short

I am devastated. I went to the doctor last week. And the nurse told me that I am only 5 feet 1.5 inches tall. NOOOOOOOOOO! I am at least 5'2", and I always round up to 5'3". The reason I am devastated is that I fear the nurse who measured me is correct, and I am, in fact, barely over 5 feet tall. I am tiny! NOOOOOOOO!

Not surprisingly, I was always one of the shortest kids in my class. In third through fifth grades, my best friend was one of the tallest kids in my class. Her parents met in college, where they both played basketball. In fifth grade, my friend was at least as tall as my mom. Probably taller, because when my friend's younger sister (who was in my sister's class) used to play dress up with my sister, my friend's sister had to wear my mom's shoes, and they were too small. IN SECOND GRADE.

Another story about how tall my friend and her sister were: Our moms took us to see Pee Wee's Big Adventure, and my friend's mom asked for tickets for one adult and two kids. The kid selling tickets did not believe that my friend and her sister were under 12. My friend was 10, and her sister was 7 or 8. Their mom had to show their birth certificates to get the kids' rate. So yes, my friend was tall.

Anyway, in fifth grade, my friend wanted to play basketball on the co-ed intramural team at school, but there weren't any other girls playing that year. So she asked me to play on the team with her, and I agreed. Not only was I much shorter than everyone else, I was also slow and uncoordinated. But I was just participating to support my friend, and I didn't care too much that I sucked. I just ran up and down the court and stayed out of the way of the action. Every once in a while, the coach made my team throw the ball to me, and all the boys would get out of my way to let me attempt a shot. I don't think I ever made it. I much preferred when I could just run up and down the court and daydream about whatever dorky things fifth graders daydream about.

So I have always accepted that I am short, but I am not 5'1.5". I am 5'3", dagnabbit.

Ready, Set...

In November, I was listening to the radio in my car on the way to the bus stop, and the DJ said that you could buy tickets for a Snow Patrol/OK Go concert on the radio station's website before they went on sale to the general public. (This does not really make sense since the people who listen to this radio station are the general public, but just go with it.) I thought, "I like that OK Go song I hear on the radio, so it would be fun to go to the concert." I called H, and he told me that the concert was going to be too girly and he didn't want to go with me. So I told him that he had no choice, and I bought two tickets.

The concert was great. H and I both really loved OK Go. Snow Patrol was great, but not 100% my style. I think Snow Patrol is what I would have listened to when I was a sophomore in college, lying on my bed and feeling sorry for myself because I didn't have a boyfriend. Whereas OK Go makes me dance.

H said, "Oh, R. You love the geek rock." Yes. Yes, I do.

Shoes, Glorious Shoes

On this holiday weekend, I assume everyone would like to read about my shoes.

Today, I received my newest acquisition from Endless.


I have been coveting these perfect summer sneakers for several weeks, and finally found them for only $35 at Endless (at least $40 + shipping everywhere else). I actually ordered a size 7.5, but they were too big, so I returned the 7.5s (for free - Endless even paid for the return shipping!), ordered size 7s Wednesday, and got the size 7s this morning. As Sarah would say, HEART! Also, it looks like I have cankles in these pictures. I do have fat ankles, but I think these are just weird angles that showcase the fatness in my ankles. They are not this weird looking in person!

Here are the $15 shoes I bought to comfort myself after my travel planning disaster.

Aaaa! Blinding white leg!

When I came home today with my super cute Keds, H started complaining that I have too many shoes. I will let you be the judge of whether he is right. Here are pictures of every shoe I own.

Work shoes:


Summer shoes:


Sneakers:


I wish I had taken a picture of all of H's shoes because I am pretty sure he has more than I do.

Change is Good, Maybe

I am thinking about switching to Wordpress. Any thoughts?

I have a doctor's appointment right before lunch, so I slept in this morning and am now being lazy in front of the computer. I had planned to get up at my regular time and do some work. I am always so optimistic, but it never happens. Why don't I know myself better?

Alyndabear has sent me some questions for my own little interview. I'm so important! Except not really because I asked her to send me some questions.

1. How old were you when you stopped believing in Santa, the Easter Bunny and/or the Tooth Fairy? [Extra points if you still believe in 'em!]
I was in the third grade. I started asking my mom questions about Santa, and she said something along the lines of, "It's time to tell you that Santa isn't real." I was SO PISSED that my parents had been lying to me for years. Now, other kids in my class had been vocal about Santa being fake since about first grade, and I think I knew that Santa wasn't real, but I was still so pissed. My sister was fine with the news though.

2. If you didn't have to read about ONE particular subject in a blog EVER again, what would that subject be? And why?
I am so tired of: "Working mothers judge stay-at-home mothers for staying at home," or "Stay-at-home mothers judge working mothers for working outside the home." As soon as I read the first line of the post, I know exactly what it is going to say and that it will conclude with a statement that all mothers do the best they can, and staying at home is right for some and working is right for others. I don't mind if someone posts something about her specific experience and how it affected her or what she thinks about it. But oh my God I am so tired of cookie cutter posts on the topic. FYI, I haven't seen anyone that I link to write a post like this.

3. Do you floss?
Rarely. Oops.

4. What is something about you that just about everyone knows?
I am married.

5. What is something about you that not many people at all know?
My ideal family would be me, H, and two kids. I think the only person who knows that is H. And now all of the internet!
Also, one time I peed one little droplet while I was playing racketball with H (because of all the jumping I was doing), and he has refused to play with me since. He wouldn't even know if I hadn't told him!

Must change topic after mention of pee...
So, Wordpress anyone?

I Touch You Once. I Touch You Twice. I Won't Let Go At Any Price.

Darn you, unlined paper!


Not a single person preferred both Christina and Pretty in Pink. And I am definitely in the minority here, as my only Christina/Sixteen Candles buddies are Liz, Sass Attack, Don't Call Me Ma'am, and Sparkling Cipher. Why is Christina better? I will let Sparkling Cipher explain it to you.

"I'm shocked that so few chose Christina. Sure, she got pretty raunchy for a while, but she's always been the better artist. Even as she slutted herself up, I respected that she was just doing her own thing and not trying to present some phony image."

As for Sixteen Candles, were you not in love with Jake Ryan??? I am still in love with Jake Ryan. Guinness Girl wrote a while ago that Jake Ryan is now a carpenter or table maker in New York (I think). But maybe I am just thinking he is a table maker because I want him to make a table for us, and then we will sit on top of the table and make out over a birthday cake.

A Quick Tour of My Playlists

I am uninspired. But will that stop me from writing something and publishing it for the internet to see? No.

Perhaps you are wondering what is in my queue for Blockbuster Online movies? The first ten items are:
1. Or, My Treasure - I have no idea what this is.
2. Numbers, Season 1, Disk 2 - Shut up. I am watching these while working out.
3. Syriana - Parts of this will be too scary for me to watch.
4. Network - I think I have seen this before but would like to see it again.
5. Numbers, Season 1, Disk 3 - I have optimistic views on how much I will work out. I will probably not need this disk quite so soon.
6. Walk the Line
7. History of Violence
8. King Kong
9. Numbers, Season 1, Disk 4 - You get the picture.
10. Mystery Science Theater 3000, vol. 1 - NERDS.

I am kind of embarrassed by the above list. And yet, I will continue to share by listing some songs I have put on H's iPod Nano for my listening enjoyment which make H wish that I would just get my own freaking iPod. (I am considering the Shuffle, but since I always just use H's Nano whenever I want, I don't know if I really need it.) Ok, here's the list.
1. Eternal Flame - The Bangles
2. Sick of Myself - Matthew Sweet
3. Girlfriend - Matthew Sweet
4. Bridge Over Troubled Water - Simon & Garfunkel
5. Bathwater - No Doubt
6. Rock DJ - Robbie Williams
7. Manic Monday - The Bangles

Actually, there are several more Bangles' songs on the iPod, and H hates all of them. And yet the shortness of this list makes me want to go out and purchase some Justin Timberlake and Kelly Clarkson so that I can really get my dorky groove on during my morning bus rides.